Leatherface: Model UN

Ajay Satan organizes an important Harvard Model UN conference on Protestant-Catholic strife in Europe which is terrorized by 'Leatherface' and requires direct heroics!

One last Irish politics vignette, and this last one (I know it!) references horror-comics and the Model UN student conference. Thanks so much for reading,

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Ajay Satan was a Harvard student organizing the Model UN student conference in NYC in the summer of 2021, after the Coronavirus quarantine tribulation had finally subsided. This Model UN conference in NY would focus on the problems between Protestants and Catholics in Northern Ireland in the new millennium. Ajay was educated and quite excited.

The Harvard Model UN invited intelligent students from around the world to engage in active discussions about new world problems, just like real-life adult diplomats and politicians did with the actual UN (United Nations) in Europe and North America. The Harvard Model UN would sponsor Security Council, ECOFIN, and other committee student mock-meetings regarding Northern Ireland 'troubles' in the new millennium. Students from everywhere were to attend. Ajay Satan was one of the main student organizers.

The P-IRA (Provisional Irish Republican Army) was a very eccentric radical organization dedicated to the eradication of British Protestant government in Northern Ireland, which was partitioned from Ireland in the 20th Century because of the statistical fact that the area was settled by a large group of generation-descended British Protestant colonial settlers from England. The modern P-IRA didn't want British Protestant rule in Northern Ireland to create claustrophobia for the Irish Catholic minority still living in the area. This Harvard Model UN conference in NYC would recognize and deliberate on the various sociocultural and inter-religious problems challenging new age globalization commerce and exchange and traffic and why today's youngsters might feel like Protestant-Catholic strife can be as 'damaging' as Israel-Palestine.

High-school students from around the USA sent their profiles and photos to the Harvard Model UN selection committee, hoping to become chosen as one of the special invited student delegates in the summer of 2021 to discuss matters pertinent to modern Protestant-Catholic strife (in Northern Ireland). Even some celebrities were interested and decided to participate and endorse Ajay Satan's student UN event in NYC. This was to be a student event catering to a wide array of modern educational interests and social trend-setters.

However, there were criticisms that this Protestant-Catholic strife themed Harvard Model UN student conference in NYC might draw in the interest of anti-globalization terrorists seeking to make some kind of anti-social statement in the media and on the public stage. Indeed, a rogue British Protestant student named Dan Rather decided to show up at the conference, after having received a special invitation from Ajay Satan, and dressed up as the American horror-cinema psycho (fictional!) Leatherface, a chainsaw-wielding cannibal. Dan/Leatherface ran around the conference hotels and auditoriums with his buzzing chainsaw terrorizing and scaring the living daylights out of the attendants at the Harvard Model UN in NYC that summer. He even wore a suit to highlight his anti-social demeanor.

Ajay Satan and a group of other Harvard Model UN student attendees at the conference, including Ali Larter and Thomas Dartmouth decided to work together as a team and try to neutralize this demonic threat while the UN security police attempted to catch this elusive hellraiser who simply avoided capture by constantly hopping into the hotel and auditorium ventilation duct tunnels and wriggling around in the labyrinths like a fleeing snake. Ajay, Ali, and Thomas formed a triad called the Hunters and pursued Leatherface (Dan Rather) with due diligence. They did this to preserve the honor of the theme of the actual UN conference --- the protection of Protestant-Catholic peace in Northern Ireland!

The problems between Protestants and Catholics in Northern Ireland had generated countless examples of pedestrian anarchy and street violence and hellfire. There were stories of terrorism and police brutality. There were murders and accidental deaths. British Parliament and Sinn Fein were baffled and confounded. This was a real modern problem requiring real attention, and the Hunters (Ajay, Ali, Thomas) didn't want the terrorist influence of Leatherface to interfere in this modern deliberation about a natural social dilemma reaching high levels of human affairs!

The Hunters (Ajay, Ali, Thomas) decided to create and paste prints of computer-generated drawings of men in suits wearing the mask-heads of horror-cinema avatars like Jason and Leatherface all around the hotel hallways and auditorium walls of the Harvard Model UN conference while Leatherface (Dan Rather!) continued his reign of terror and hellfire. These horror-art prints encouraged the students to have faith and keep courage while the UN security police attempted to nab Leatherface and the Hunters (Ajay, Ali, Thomas) attempted to do their civil part.

The Hunters (Ajay, Ali, Thomas) created doodle-drawing faces of students from the Model UN conference 'forced' to don masks of horror-cinema psychos and pasted these drawings next to the ventilation duct openings where Leatherface (Dan Rather!) was crawling in-and-out of during the student conference to terrorize people randomly and without warning with his buzzing chainsaw when there were no UN security policemen around to catch him! These pasted drawings made by the Hunters (Ajay, Ali, Thomas) were meant to deliver home the message that the students wouldn't simply be outdone by Leatherface in NYC!

Finally, the Hunters (Ajay, Ali, Thomas) came face-to-face with Leatherface (Dan Rather!) in the Harvard Model UN arena parking lot when the psycho crawled out of a ventilation duct and landed there while the heroic student triad were roaming around with crossbows and marbles used to try to disorient the maniac. The Hunters looked at Leatherface who started to run towards them. The Hunters pulled out the marbles in their pockets and threw and rolled them towards Leatherface's feet, causing him to trip up and fall and resulting in his buzzing chainsaw to clumsily land on his own leg and gashing it! Then, Ajay used his crossbow to fire three arrows right into Leatherface's body and neck while he was on the ground. The UN security police then arrived and hauled off Leatherface to prison. They thanked the valiant Hunters (Ajay, Ali, Thomas).

The UN Gazette reported that Ajay Satan and his two student allies at the Harvard Model UN in NYC used wits and nifty gathered weaponry to tackle and capture the psychotic Dan Rather ('Leatherface') at the student conference. The story described how simple youthful heroics resulted in the preservation of student conference dignity at a conference covering a very symbolic modern subject with global ramifications --- Protestant-Catholic strife in Northern Ireland. Ali Larter was invited to the Jay Leno Show where she told the popular late-show host that she defeated Leatherface with kids' toys.

Ajay Satan meanwhile gave an important speech at Arkham Asylum, the center for the incarceration of the criminally-insane in Geneva, about the value of criminal-insanity treatments for the world's most dangerous terrorists. Satan spoke of the modern need to talk about Protestant-Catholic troubles in Northern Ireland and educational realities of Israel-Palestine and how new age psychosis threatened the sane dialogue regarding these symbolic issues. Ajay Satan talked about how the need to correlate old world values and gods with new world problems signaled a new interest in complete academic rice.

Would Protestant-Catholic troubles escalate to the level of Israel-Palestine? Would this create problems as 'epic' as those between Judaism and Islam, between the descendants of Isaac and Ishmael? Would modern students like Ajay Satan create interesting platforms for new age globalization politics daydreams?

Ajay Satan's Model UN conference at NYC about Northern Ireland inspired many new Facebook posts and Internet blogs by students about the importance of teamwork in new age politics. They wanted to downplay the influence of the psycho Leatherface and stike up debates about the value of creative peace and social revolution in areas of the world stagnated by myopic thinking and backwards science. The tragedy may inspire tracks.

ALI LARTER: I'm just excited to see if all this Leatherface noise is ironically going to create some positive and nice Christian daydreams for horror-comics and movie fans in America!

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiasts)