Swiss Bank Robbery: Dream-Tax

A wily thief performs a special diamond-heist of a Swiss bank and notices some dark ties to some rather deadly 'blood diamond' diaries!

One more heist parable inspired by the provocative Blood Diamond (Leo DiCaprio)! Thanks so much, 

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The National Swiss Bank in Geneva is the site of our little story about a strange thief who's caught in the proverbial matrix of modern civilization.

ISAAC (The Thief!): Geneva is such a beautiful European city, and its national bank is really great.

Isaac is a collector of toys and designer of robotics and is deciding to retire to Fiji with this diamond-heist of safe-box #445 of the Swiss national. The safe-box is owned by a Dutch warlord and contains diamonds from the blood diamond highway. Isaac obtained this information from an insider-source in Amsterdam. For this heist, Isaac has some toys he'll be using for the theatrical deception. One of the toys is a Transformers light-up mechanical gun robot.

Another toy Isaac, our thief, will be using is a Transformers rescue-vehicle in Swiss red-and-white colors. Swiss banks are reputed to be very secure, since Switzerland is a politically neutral nation, and it therefore never deals with crisis oriented inflations or government intercessions. 

Another item Isaac has for his diamond-heist is a perfume-bottle which is actually filled with a fume chemical which when even slightly inhaled induces immediate unconsciousness.

Isaac is also bringing a bag of fake diamonds, procured from Amsterdam prior to the heist. These fake diamonds will be switched with the real 'blood diamonds' from the Dutch warlord's safe-box in the Swiss National Bank vault-room.

ISAAC: I consider myself a supreme nerd of modern civilization matrix economics and engineering, and it's good study!

Isaac decides to dress up as the vigilante-like thief Red Sparrow for the heist-day. He drives up to the bank in a plumbing van and climbs out and informs the personnel they've a terrible leak in the 2nd floor bathrooms and will climb the window with a placed ladder to get his tools easily up there. He also explains he's in mask and costume since there're suspected fumes in the pipes in the bank bathrooms on the 2nd floor! They believe him.

As Isaac prepares to do the 2nd floor bathroom cleaning, he requests all personnel be evacuated temporarily, especially since no one works on that floor during regular hours usually and is quite vacant normally. There're just some office conference rooms reserved for special-visit meetings for which there are none today!

After Isaac sees that everyone's cleared the 2nd floor of the Swiss bank building, he begins to take his fake plumbing tools up and down the ladder until he's fully organized and goes to work opening up and inspecting the pipes. When he notices no one's around, Isaac unplugs all the security cameras on the floor and then makes his way down to the vault-room area with his bag full of special toys and items to show to the guardsman who stands in front of the vault-room.

Meanwhile, two sports cars are paid to drive up to the Swiss National Bank building and park right under Isaac's plumbing ladder and prepare to enter the bank as new customers pretending to be part of the Euro-race circuit. They're to deposit diamonds (fake ones Isaac has provided them!) inside the safe-box area.

As the guard is shown Isaac's toys, he asks Isaac why the plumber has these toys and Isaac explains he's not just a plumber but also a friend of Euro-race circuit drivers and has private wealth and intends to deposit his own diamonds in the safe-boxes. He explains the toys are mementos of the toy franchise he's opening with his Euro-race buddies, who've incidentally just now also arrived at the bank and are walking towards the safe-box area. Isaac then walks inside the safe-box room in the vault area with the guardsman and his bag of (fake) diamonds and asks the guard if he wants to take a sniff of his girlfriend's perfume, a bottle he's brought from her, since the diamonds belong to her. When the guard inhales the perfume ever so slightly, the sedating fumes instantly knock him out. Isaac then takes out his other item, not revealed earlier, a miniature gun keychain which actually contains a laser, which he uses to bore a hole inside the Dutch warlord's 'blood diamond' safe box #445!

After the guard is placed on the floor of the vault-room by the safe boxes unconscious, Isaac snaps photos of his Euro-race buddies who've arrived by the safe-box area with their own (fake) diamonds. Isaac has already switched his own (fake) diamonds with the Dutch warlord's 'blood diamonds' in safe-box #445 and left the note, "Stolen by Interpol."

Of course, Interpol is the Euro police body already currently investigating the Dutch warlord's nefarious ties to the blood diamond highway in Europe. When the sleeping guard awakes, he realizes he simply fell unconscious and notices police looking at the stolen diamond box in the vault area while a bank rep is simultaneously servicing Isaac's (fake) Euro-race buddies as they place their own (fake) diamonds in one of the safe-boxes. The guard realizes much has gone on but also learns the plumber Isaac has already finished up his plumbing work and has vacated the area. The Interpol officer investigating this entire Swiss bank robbery is none other than the beautiful but bad lady Steffi Federer. She insists that something is wrong and wonders why the note indicating the theft of the Dutch warlord's 'blood diamonds' were performed by someone inside Interpol!

SWISS NEWS: We don't know really what's happened, but we're certain all this Euro blood diamond hellfire is pure darkness.

Isaac has traded in his diamonds for cash in the European black market and is currently managing an island Internet-bar in Fiji. He's retired and is no longer working in robotics design. He had no girlfriend or ties to plumbing! He was simply a thief who wished to orchestrate a rather marvelous operation in what can only be called a modern marvel --- Swiss banks.

ISAAC: I do not discredit any modern civilization institution of weight such as Swiss banks or Red Cross hospitals!

Is this a story about bank robbery, diamonds, or the hairy mess of blood diamonds in the modern gem market? Surely, blood diamond complications have really caused frown-lines among legitimate gem merchants, Jewish and European, who don't want diamonds 'sullied' by the modern problem of international darkness!

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)