Thief/Copycat II

A Dallas journalist narrates this very unusual short about a 'copycat-thief' who just wants to win back his seduced girlfriend!

A wily thief-fable inspired by the timeless masterpiece Thief (Michael Mann). It's a follow-up piece to an original on WritersCafe, but there's no real thematic continuity but a real dogma one! Hope you like this one (signing off), 

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My name's Amlan Satan. I studied at Dartmouth College (Ivy League) and am originally from Algeria. I'm a news reporter for the Dallas Morning News (DMN).

Now, we all know Dallas is an iconic US city and home to the great sports teams the Cowboys (NFL) and Mavericks (NBA). It's also the site/city of a fantastic bank-robbery team called the Rabbits who'd been stealing reputed 'blood-diamonds' (warlord-mined gems from Africa/Europe used to fund modern global terrorism!). The Rabbits are bad-a*s, and they've made Dallas quite exciting, and I've been covering this modern Dallas news-story.

I wonder if all this heist-folklore will generate more youthful fanfare for terrific adventure video-game fantasy-avatars like SubZero (a diplomat of cold science!) and Raiden (diplomat of lighting!).

Covering this bank-robbery folk-tale surrounding the Rabbits has made me very excited about capitalism rebellion and arguably why bank-robbery can be differentiated from new era terrorism, which brings me to this short about the iconic Dallas Bank (DB).

The Rabbits marched into the DB (bank) in rabbit-masks of course and stole blood-diamonds belonging to the corrupt baron Goldfinger and walked out with $20 million gems, using only water-guns filled with acid and managing to hurt no one!

Among the gems the Rabbits stole that day from the DB was the incredible blue-diamond Vanderbilt from Goldfinger, and I began writing folk-tales about their incredible feat!

Now, the Dallas Police Department (DPD) are after the nefarious Rabbits, wondering if they're thieves...or terrorists...or vigilantes!

My girlfriend has become obsessed with the Rabbits, and I have a dark suspicion she's dating one of the male members!

Out of utter panic, I decided to stage a follow-up 'copycat heist' modeled after the daring blood-diamond heist of Goldfinger's terrorism-linked gems, in the same Dallas bank, which sees regular/normal customer-traffic everyday, so I had to really stakeout the bank and its security-system and its various traffic patterns! God give me luck...I mean, I have to win back my girl's affections and admiration, right?

So, I procured a rabbit-mask and white dress-shirt and marched into the very-same DB (bank) and pretended to be part of the Rabbits 'mission' but was simply a follow-up 'copycat thief' for news folklore. I hoped my girlfriend would see the story on Dallas-TV.

BANK MANAGER: What's that toy rifle in your hand?
ME (thief!): This transparent working toy-rifle is filled with acid!

BANK MANAGER: So, you're part of the Rabbit-squad then?

ME (thief!): No, well, I was exiled from the unit, but I intend to steal more diamonds.

BANK MANAGER: From Goldfinger's safe-box again?

ME (thief!): Why not, friend?

The plan for the heist worked. I walked out of the DB (bank) with $3 million worth of more Goldfinger gems stored in his safe-box, and the evil capitalism-baron using blood-diamond smuggling money to fund Euro-terrorism was concerned all this media-spotlight would ruin his attention, so he dissuaded the authorities from pursuing further exclamatory queries. Meanwhile, I was able to manage a 'spin-city' folk-tale about who exactly (me!) was behind this 'copycat-thief' stunt.

I then decided to make a child-like comic book stick-figure doodle about this 'mysterious copycat-thief' who managed to follow-up the Rabbits' dastardly Goldfinger-heist, and I implied in the Dallas Morning News that the author of this child-doodle was perhaps an 'imagineer' of blood-diamond gossip. I'd succeeded, but would my girlfriend think this copycat-heist was worth the art-dance?

My girlfriend left me; I think she's with the leader of the Rabbits now. I wonder what my copycat-thief stunt managed to pull-off in modern-day Dallas. I won't ever be Clyde Barrow, which is maybe why my girlfriend left me...for the Rabbits-leader! However, I did learn the magical humility of Dallas adventure-dots. That's my strange American-dream tale. What do you think?

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)