F-IRA: Frankfurt Gold Circus

A Story by Abishai100

A team of 'Rascals' stages a huge media-spectacle involving a blood-diamond heist in Germany related to anti-terrorism diction.

One extra blood-diamond opus inspired by A Fish Called Wanda. Enjoy!

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Frankfurt is where Baron Goldfinger hides his terrorism-financing gems in Deutsche Bank. This terrorism-financing activity's threatening the integrity of negotiations between Sinn Fein and British Parliament in the UK concerning Catholic-Protestant inequalities in Northern Ireland since it inspires rogue/ex-terrorists to become pirates.

GOLDFINGER: Deutsche Bank is the finest Euro-institution, so it's where I'll hide my special blood-diamonds.

The Rascals are a team of radicals and intellectuals from the Ivy League (USA) who've formed a covert paramilitary unit in Northern Ireland called the Foreign Irish Republican Army (F-IRA). The F-IRA seeks to detect rogue/ex-IRA terrorists who're thwarting the standard missions of IRA diplomats working alongside Sinn Fein for legalized democratic discussions with Parliament. The 'Rascals' (F-IRA) take Aer Lingus to Frankfurt from Dublin to plan the heist of Goldfinger's blood-diamonds from Deutsche Bank!

RASCALS: The Foreign Irish Republican Army is devoted to creating long-term sanity in the Catholic-Protestant troubles!

Now, the Rascals (F-IRA) organized a special street-march of standard P-IRA members and R-IRA members in Frankfurt decrying the demand for blood-diamond terrorism-financing rocking their underground world and complexifying talks regarding Sinn Fein. This is in preparation of the Goldfinger blood-diamond heist in Frankfurt of course!

RASCALS: We're really a community, so we include men, women, and children in our prayer community in Frankfurt.

The main bank-robbers of the Rascals (F-IRA) will be Amlan, Marcus, and Raki --- Algerian-American graduates of Dartmouth (USA).

Amlan/Marcus/Raki will take the Frankfurt subway to the Deutsche Bank area and hop out in circus-theater performance costumes and wielding toy water-guns, claiming they're putting on a special fanzine-show for Baron Goldfinger's business associates for a media marketing advertisement about diamond theater shows.

The other members of the Rascals will show up some time before Amlan/Marcus/Raki arrive in their own theater-costumes claiming to be part of a Benetton fashion-ad about modern German banking/capitalism, just ahead of the 'Rascal Theater Company' trio. These fake Benetton fashion-model Rascals (F-IRA) members will be in stylish clothing and masks when they enter with their camera group.

BANK MANAGER: Boy, this sure is an exciting day of theater inside our fine German bank, and the Benetton models are outrageously masked and costumed in beautiful fashions.

Of course, the Deutsche bank personnel have no inkling that the Rascals (F-IRA) are simply radical progressives seeking to subvert the capital influence of the terrorism-financing blood-diamond baron Goldfinger who's simply trying to make normal Sinn Fein negotiations favoring Catholic-Protestant relations in the UK complicated! The Rascals represent the democratic initiative to restore sanity in the underworld of terrorism-financing.

GOLDFINGER: I'm playing rounds of golf today with one of my Dutch associates from Holland in Frankfurt.

Meanwhile, the other members of the F-IRA are coordinating a special St. Patrick's Day march near the Deutsche Bank area sometime after this Goldfinger blood-diamond heist is over.

The captain of the Rascals (F-IRA) is a former American TV-thespian and Ivy League standout named Ron who's recently divorced and has tons of time on his hands to plan this subversion of the evil Baron Goldfinger.

Ron is working inside the bank ahead of the other 2 Rascal groups (Circus/Benetton) and is pretending to open a new diamond account and puts on a dog-mask when the Circus team enters, verifying that this is all a giant Baron Goldfinger media-advertising 'stunt' for diamond marketing in a magazine/fanzine.

Ron in his dog-mask and the other 3 Rascals (Amlan/Marcus/Raki) in their Circus masks/costumes wield water-guns and have the laughing guardsman escort them into the safe-box room where they'll take photos of the high-security area for their magazine ad while the Benetton fashion-models (Rascals) do their bank-lobby camera-work and add some discovered 'pizzazz' with this background Circus-Theater company media stunt. The Deutsche Bank manager is most pleased.

BANK MANAGER: Deutsche Bank in Frankfurt hasn't seen this level of intrigue in such a long time...it's outstanding.

Once inside the safe-box area of the immaculate vault-room of the Frankfurt Deutsche Bank, Ron and the Circus-trio of the Rascals (Amlan/Marcus/Raki) reveal to the single escorting guardsman that their water-guns (toys!) are filled with acid. Ron explains in his dog-mask to the horrified guardsman that they're sent on a special mission from Interpol to burn through Goldfinger's safe-box and switch his terrorism-financing blood-diamonds for toy-gems they've brought with them for Goldfinger to find and report on to the media and be compelled to claim, "I'll finance the burning of these safe-boxes to prove that this entire stunt was indeed a media advertisement and has nothing to do with Interpol suspicions."

The Benetton fashion-model Rascals meanwhile are in the bank lobby still and doing their camera-work dancing when Ron and the Circus-trio sneak out the Deutsche Bank bathroom window with Goldfinger's $20M terrorism-financing blood-diamonds, hop onto the Frankfurt metro to an Interpol-relations underground hub where they exchange the gems for assets and bearer-bonds for a private Swiss account in Zurich. The Benetton-fashion model Rascals meet up with them some time later.