Kansas City Thiefs: American Girls

A diorama of what comprises American darkness...and modern socialized design.

A crime/terrorism magnification vignette and examination in honor of the upcoming 20th anniversary of 9/11, inspired by the film The Last Boy Scout. 

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Kansas City (USA) is an iconic city where we find the awesome Royals MLB baseball team shining and potentially capturing the World Series title.

However, a serial-killer named Pirate prowls the city streets at night killing young women, women who're prostitutes, policewomen, postal workers, painters, etc. He's just after Kansas City women, this psycho.

There're rumors that Pirate defected from the Foreign Irish Republican Army (F-IRA) and became a freelance killer in North America after being seduced by the world of blood-diamonds, which is not to say that IRA troubles in modern UK don't have their own baggage in terms of religion...and hellmouths.

PIRATE: My goal is to buy candy-cigarettes and kill women in Kansas City as the World Series of baseball nears.

KANSAS CITY GAZETTE: We think this 'Pirate' serial-killer, be he ex-terrorist or not, has the delusion he's some kind of angel!

In fact, Pirate, the Kansas City serial-killer, likes collecting all sorts of toys and novelty-items, thinking himself a 'collector' of imaginarium gems and toys, like a real pirate! He particularly likes toy guns, candy cigarettes, and Garbage Pail Kids trading-cards.

Pirate has collected a handful of toy guns which he intends to smuggle into the Kansas City Royals World Series games in the US city as the matches near. He'll then replace the toy bullets with real ones after inserting a real working mechanical gun-piston, to fool the security-guards.

PIRATE: My secret is that this media stunt will haunt a foxy Irish celebrity who's a Royals fan and will attend one game.

PSYCHIATRIST: Our view is that this 'Pirate' serial-killer, be he ex-terrorist or not, is deluding himself to think he's Peter Pan.

PIRATE: I'm not Peter Pan, and I'm just Pirate; and in fact, I'm a huge fan of Royals baseball-cards.

Well, the World Series came and went, and the serial-killer Pirate never showed up to terrorize the games and in fact disappeared from Kansas City altogether. There were rumors he flew back to Northern Ireland and tried to rejoin the F-IRA. Meanwhile, the Royals won the World Series in 7 Games.

OFFICER ALBRECHT: I've been tracking 'Pirate' for 2 years now and believe he's hiding somewhere in Dublin (Ireland).

PIRATE: I'm not in Dublin; and I'll never forget my days as a pirate in Kansas City...chasing American girls.

PSYCHIATRIST: The sheer genius of America is that it's an invention of pure socialized folklore.

As we approach the 20th anniversary of 9/11, we might ask ourselves, "Why is crime in America so unique and different from terrorism around the world, and how can we globalize our modern imagination to conceptualize the complexity of socialized detention?"

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)