Belfast: Double-Dragon

A strange double-story in troubled Northern Ireland marks this vignette of politics-and-life gone dull.

A blood-diamond and UK politics dual vignette inspired by The Devil's Own (Alan J. Pakula). 

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Belfast (Northern Ireland) is troubled by sectarian (Catholic-Protestant) troubles regarding socioeconomic disparities being addressed currently by Sinn Fein and UK Parliament.

Amlan Satan is the Algerian-American captain of the new world group known as the Foreign Irish Republican Army which is trying to hijack all corrupt official transport vehicles coming into Belfast carrying smuggled pirate blood-diamonds from Africa.

Satan's group sabotages a blood-diamond transport going to a hotel in Northern Ireland by blowing up the parked empty car with the blood-diamonds inside the car-trunk, and his group reports to the press, "We won't allow underworld piracy to complicate modern Parliament talks regarding the need for closer socioeconomics reforms/improvements monitors in sectarian troubled Northern Ireland."

Meanwhile, a baron (Goldfinger) has managed to deposit his own blood-diamonds in the very respected Belfast bank in Northern Ireland, and it's drawing in the skill of a thief named Storm-Shadow (real name: unknown).

Storm-Shadow walks into the bank claiming he's a circus-performer costumed and sent by the Baron Goldfinger for media photos of the bank's safe-boxes where he stores his famous Euro-diamonds.

Once inside the safe-box area of the Belfast bank, this mysterious thief 'Storm-Shadow' reveals to the single escorting guardsman that his toy theater-prop water-gun which is part of his media photo stunt for Goldfinger is filled with acid and intends to burn into the baron's safe-box and switch his pirate blood-diamonds with fake Northern Ireland notes. He tells the guardsman to report to the media, "It may be that Baron Goldfinger's tied to some modern UK note-exchanges going to new era underground blood-diamond dialogue."

BANK MANAGER: Business was normal that day in Belfast, and we really didn't anticipate anything unordinary!

Amlan Satan, captain of the Foreign Irish Republican Army, tells Sinn Fein leaders and the Belfast Gazette he's honestly perplexed by this single/isolated mysterious 'lone-ranger' blood-diamond heist in the Belfast Bank and claims he doesn't know if the person/individual responsible for the apparent Interpol-relations underground monitoring stunt/message is tied to any working political group in Northern Ireland he's aware of and therefore considers this safe-box news-story a real stump.

INTERPOL: Blood-diamond corruption sullies the entire modern global diamond exchange and requires monitors!

BELFAST GAZETTE: We have our own 'editorial' gossip-chat rumor that Amlan Satan and Storm-Shadow are one-and-the-same!

The point of this unusual Belfast (Northern Ireland, UK) fable is that all the drama of current socioeconomics politics reform talk in UK Parliament with Sinn Fein designed to reduce Catholic-Protestant sectarian (IRA/UVF) violence/aggression created out of governance frustrations has generated so much intrigue and simultaneous confusion that it's just difficult to point out what kinds of 'media-friendly' gossip coming out of the UK today can be strangely linked to 'folkloric' distancing. Is Amlan Satan and Storm-Shadow actually/truly the same man?

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)