The Lion: Cheers to the Camera

A very unusual diarist's American spirit sports-dictionary 'parody' inviting us to ask the question, "Is America a place for...daffodils?"

A sports-aged detective parody, inspired very loosely by the American thriller-film The Last Boy Scout (Bruce Willis). 

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I live in Detroit, the city of American cars and the Lions football team which plays its annual Thanksgiving game, a tribute to sports-fanfare and American cheers. Detroit is a place I call home.

I avoid the Detroit police. The safety/security offered by Detroit police is legendary, and it's made Detroit a great city to enjoy and appreciate Lions football and cheerleaders, but I'm not going to tell you right away why exactly I don't take photos of Detroit cop-cars.

The Lions had two iconic games against the rival NFC Philadelphia Eagles, and one was a symbolic 2013 'Snow Bowl' game which went down to the 4th quarter, really. The Lions-Eagles rivalry is under-valued, but it represents American fanfare regarding great contours of sports-cheerleading dance.

Now, I'll tell you why I don't follow Detroit cop-cars. I'm a radical, a neo-liberal named Scarecrow. I follow around a special Lion cheerleader named Evelyn who's becoming the subject of my new Anarchist book called Cheering for America, a tribute to why I consider modern defense of democracy a thing of guerrilla-intelligence, and it's not a work of Satanic worship or anything, because honestly, I consider myself an eccentric Catholic (by faith!).

Evelyn is my dream. I consider myself a devout follower of the magic of American photography and the Polaroid. I follow every Lions game in Detroit but mostly to see if Evelyn will be even more outstanding in my new cheer-line series of photos for my Anarchist book than before. Evelyn is the opposite of Barbie, and yet, she's just as godly...and democratic!

No, I'm not going to murder Evelyn, you bloody loon. I'm going to make her my modern Mona Lisa. How come people don't say, "Leonardo was psychotic for making a certain woman his subject of legend-art?" Well, Evelyn will become a modern sports Mona Lisa, after my Anarchist book becomes a cyber-dynamite. I do however carry a silver silencer, which I wield as I follow around Evelyn and her Lion life in my Audi; this is because I'm certain a real terrorist (from Columbia) is stalking her, and she needs 'someone' to watch over her.

EVELYN: I'm going neurotic with these new 'rumors' I need this 'DNA' bodyguard, so my psychiatrist is giving me Klonopin now!

Do you think 'Scarecrow' will publish his Anarchist book in modern USA? Will the cyber-world celebrate his radical brand of democracy-media defense/vigilantism? Do you think 'Scarecrow' is the foil for the Unabomber? Will he manage to protect the endangered American doll, Evelyn? This might just become a folk-tale...about dreams dated.

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)