Kate S

A dotty-vignette about blood-diamond confusion in the UK, leading to a very offbeat media-dance involving the 'distant' Princess!

A fun blood-diamond 'query-fable' inspired by On Her Majesty's Secret Service. Thanks for reading (signing off), 

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An Aer Lingus flight from Dublin (Ireland) to Belfast, Northern Ireland (United Kingdom) was carrying a precious turtle-animal in a special comfy ice-box for the Princess Kate Middleton to greet and embrace once she visited from England's Buckingham Palace for a special diplomatic media-event about animal conservationism.

The Princess was driving across London Bridge when she's attacked by rogue members of the P-IRA (Provisional Irish Republican Army), claiming they'd like her to take some diamonds to Buckingham Palace, and later reports emerged the diamonds were 'blood-diamonds' the P-IRA was looking to make statements concerning the threat to modern UK gem-markets created by unmonitored gem-piracy in London.

Princess Kate Middleton now wanted nothing to do with these affairs and simply was visiting Belfast (Northern Ireland, UK) for an eco-media greeting of the Belfast-transported zoo-turtle Delilah (aka, 'Magic') and wore a pretty dress (green!) for the special charity-event benefiting animal-conservationist groups in North America and Northern Ireland.

BELFAST GAZETTE: It's a peaceful sunrise in old Belfast as we prepare for the arrival of the Princess to greet turtle 'Magic.'

The Princess is now in Belfast with William and is in a protective mask as she prepares to greet and embrace 'Magic' the turtle for a media-feature about social monarchs in works with eco-conservation charities in the Western world in this 20th-anniversary commemoration year of 9/11.

However, a very strange monkey-wrench is thrown into this Belfast/UK equation for eco-media when the rogue Algerian terrorist/guerrilla 'Shadow' is recruited by the P-IRA to infiltrate the 'Magic' turtle greet/embrace event in Northern Ireland, which he does, claiming he's a 'Beatnik photographer' seeking his own photos of the Princess with Magic.

SHADOW: I've trained my 'associate' Esmerelda to drive-by the outdoor zoo-turtle event with a fire-gun to spray at cars.

When Esmerelda drives by, Shadow heroically (fakes!) pulls out a toy water-cannon from his backpack and shoots her windshield and disorients her, right after she's sprayed a parked cop car with her fire-gun. He then claims he's an 'Interpol-officer' and asks Princess Kate (and William!) to take some special 'diamonds' in his case and take them to Buckingham Palace. He also 'gifts' the water-cannon toy for the Princess's children!

SHADOW: I've even mailed a robot-transformer helicopter toy for Princess Kate's children to Buckingham Palace!

It turns out that those 'special' diamonds in Buckingham Palace are actually owned by a ruthless Dutch baron named Goldfinger who's corrupting the Northern Ireland (UK) gem-market with pirate-gems (blood-diamonds) from Africa, and now that Shadow's planted those 'Interpol-gems' in the Princess's care, every cabbie in Belfast is talking about one thing only --- are the Princess diamonds real...or disastrous?

SHADOW: With this media scramble, I shall establish myself as a master P-IRA interceptor in media of Goldfinger's suit.

BELFAST GAZETTE: Whether or not the Provisional Irish Republican Army is waging a 'blood-diamond' cleanup-battle is unsure.

BUCKINGHAM PALACE: We're sure Parliament's working with Belfast banks to ensure diamond-monitoring...and dialogue!

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)