Kleinfeld's Art Flight

Narrated account of an underworld nifty mystery-man who seeks to perform an art-heist from a corrupt mafia-man and escape with a gem of dreams.

One last tale, an art-heist, inspired by The Art of the Steal (Kurt Russell). Thanks so much for reading, 

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I grew up hard and had to find ways to simply get through life. I read Dickens and fell in admiration of the character of Artful Dodger, a natural pickpocket, and I thought about the rough way(s) to simply survive. That's what this tale is concerning.

My name's Kleinfeld. I'm stealing a rare piece of valuable artwork, a painting of an American cheerleader worth over $2M, and it belongs to an unscrupulous mafia-sort named Ala, and I'm marching into the Boston Museum of Modern Art (BMOMA) and taking the painting and replacing it with a rather impressive replica. Follow along on my art adventure of dreams.

Now, this art museum is located in downtown Boston (USA), and I'm going to walk in costumed as a theater-artist claiming I have special commission to have private time to make a replica of the Ala cheerleader painting and require privacy with only one security-camera, for which I'm placing a premade video-tape showing me simply sitting and painting in that area of the museum (which I made by breaking into the museum the night-before the actual heist after I got the lone guardsman very drunk and sedated!).

I walk into the museum and start my 'fake' painting session of the Ala cheerleader painting in private session, so no one is in there but me with my security-video rolling for the monitor(s) for the same guardsman who's watching from another room! I then swap the $2M cheerleader-artwork with the replica I brought with me, concealed in my briefcase!

ALA: When I find out who this rat is who took my beloved art, I'm determining if he's tied to Interpol-relations now!

The heist takes about 2 hours to complete, and I walk out with the original/authentic painting rolled in my briefcase and then trade it for cash and diamonds for another museum curator who's a friend of mine and who has Interpol-relations and can pursue a formal investigation of unscrupulous Ala's underworld tie(s)!

When Ala found out his painting was a fake, I was long gone. There's no suspects as of yet, and I doubt they'll ever pin it on anyone I know or on me. I'm long gone, I'm in Amsterdam, and my costumed theater-performance was simply beautiful!

I had to take the subway to the airport after I made all the transactions I needed to make on heist-day. However, two of Ala's goons were following me, told that I may be suspicious since I requested that 'private painting session' inside the museum. When they ask me if they should look inside my briefcase, I softly explain, "Not if you want to discover that my art-kit(s) are basically for the poor average starving artist!"

ALA: Why'd you want my cheerleader painting, Artful Dodger.

KLEINFELD (Me): I needed that artwork for personal reasons.

ALA: What's that reason, if I may ask over this stolen/rented mobile phone call you made?

KLEINFELD: Just worry about your Interpol-tracks now, and I'm certain your painting was insured!

ALA: That it was, but I'm still 'curious' to know why you wanted that $2M cheerleader-painting.

KLEINFELD: Besides the fact that it was money for a poor artist, I needed it for my imagination(s).

ALA: About what...you want to court a cheerleader or something, mystery-man?
KLEINFELD: Let's just say the painting reminds me of either a dark dragon...or my angel of mercy.

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)