Wheelie: Home Depot

A narrated account of an alien-robot visitor whose account of Western capitalism re-presents optimism...and distance.

An homage to Western civilization 'canon' featuring the robot 'avatar' Wheelie (Transformers) and inspired loosely by the 'uncanny' Capitalism: A Love Story (Michael Moore). Enjoy! 

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Welcome to your local hardware-store, where you might find the right mental ingenuity to derive the 'right' dosage(s) of local security for your building projects and tool-use need(s). This is America, home of capitalism/consumerism, where convenience is akin to intelligence/sanity!

My name's Wheelie, and I'm from a faraway A.I. (robot) planet called Cybertron, but I traveled to Earth and disguised myself as a human (Algerian-American prince) named Amlan Satan (aka, 'Storm-Shadow'). I advertise hardware toys and tool-tech on cyber-forums in my shorts/mosaics for capitalism evaluations of convenience securities, and it's why we appreciate (arguably) police securities in local towns enforcing safe transit for 'regular' consumerism in the 21st Century!

On the planet Cybertron, I'd been known as a 'mini-hero' of great affability and organized intelligence/IQ, and when I moved to Earth, I remembered my days contending with 'evil' robots like interceptors/terrorists such as Cyclonus and Scorponok. On Earth, I make regular arounds to hardware-stores to remind myself of my 'visage' on Cybertron and why I'd become a 'social celebrity' of real-time heroics diaries.

On Earth, I look absolutely nothing like the 'Wheelie' I was on Planet Cybertron! In fact, as the Algerian-American cyber-blogging 'prince' Amlan Satan (aka, 'Storm-Shadow'), I find myself celebrating and re-presenting a distinct 'Sherlock Holmes' imagination regarding the sheer-design(s) of community-values and institution(s) defenses (e.g., Orange County).

I own this magnificent magnetized home (orange!) super-computer (Dartmouth), which I use (covertly/underground) to evaluate capitalism-labyrinth 'troubles' like blood-diamond operations/pirate-moves in challenged Northern Ireland (Europe!) and why forms of programmed corruption threaten our sense of capitalism in this era of post-9/11 defense(s) (e.g., The Purge).

My wife, Esmerelda, is a haunting image of perfect human beauty, a true-orange American who's a lover of consumerism convenience(s) and celebrates alongside with me why we pronounce the Western civilization 'dialects' of capitalism in cinema.

One of my favorite convenience-IQ activities is to visit the greenhouse sector of the local hardware store in the United States and take iPhone-shots of the 'splendor' of accessed plant-cultivation (home-use!) shopping. This is Western civilization!

I walked by a toy-store during Christmastime and noted two special 'robot-toys' which reminded me of myself as the great mini-hero Wheelie on Cybertron. This made me inspired and I bought the toy-set of robots for my son (Damian Wayne).

DAMIAN: My little wheelie-toy robots transform(s) into a terrific auto-collections!

What I notice most of all in this post-9/11 era is the strange paranoia created by social-media access to globalism/democracy dialogue regarding sociopolitical 'woes' including Northern Ireland, Ukraine, and Nigeria. This is the time of great bigotry challenging our 'sense' of globalized commercialism!

I'm Wheelie. I'm Amlan Satan ('Storm-Shadow'). I'm your best-friend! I protect/promote American consumerism. I promote Popeye's chicken. This is a time of great optimism for the general capitalist, but only if we jump-up high at the stark imagination(s) of great Western dragons. Isn't that possible?

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)