Three Fugitives

American lawwoman narrates this 'funny vignette' about the tracking of 'three fugitives' behind some modern landscape eco-data.

A very affable crime-caper, narrated by the lawwoman tracking the 'three fugitives' (a funny/iconic trio). Hope you like it, 

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I've been tracking 'three fugitives' who've been trekking cross-country (US) to rob banks, jewelry-stores, and mansions and using water-guns (toys!) filled with hot-acid, claiming they're Robin Hoods trying to deliver a special eco-activism era of anti-chemical warfare message. I'm a sheriff in the modern continent of North America, and I'm convinced these three fugitives are a small family, even though they may not be a 'normal' family (a husband and wife and adopted child/daughter). I consider myself a passionate American lawwoman.

We've been tracking these 'three fugitives' for some time now, and we believe they originate somewhere in New England, and there's reports/claims the husband/father of the small Western family was once an Ivy League economics professor or sociology assistant-professor. We're not sure. We do know these 'three fugitives' leave behind poems at the sites of their Robin Hood 'crimes' about Ivy League snow.

The only reports/sightings of claimed ID for the 'three fugitives' we've obtained seem to indicate the Robin Hood 'aces' are an Algerian-American, a small adopted Italian girl (name unknown), and possibly a movie-actress of lesser-known status and a passion for adventure. This is really just a theory, however. We don't know who they are, because they always wear masks!

The 'three fugitives' perform their cross-country Robin Hood crimes with toy water-guns filled with hot-acid (homemade or on-the-fly). Sometimes (we believe!) the 'three fugitives' (mostly the husband/father) puts the acid together in bank or store bathrooms using simple ingredients (harmless) like NaOH or water/salt chemical mixtures and a mini-hotplate.

As an American sheriff/lawwoman, I'm certain this 'eco-conscious' message these 'three fugitives' claim to purport has something to do with the Dr. Seuss inspiration-tree in southern California, a remarkably resemblance-nature tree you might recognize from various Dr. Seuss books like The Lorax or The Grinch.

We do however have one very strong piece of evidence regarding the identification of these 'three fugitives' trekking cross-country. We do think that the 'three fugitives' drive a special white 1980s Volvo 'hippie-car' and consider themselves certain 'American knights' of the eco-folkloric landscape. We think this white Volvo represents their 'familial intention' to cast their special acid-gun anti-chemical warfare message as a signpost for industrialization/machinery/capitalism diaries. We've got a good feeling about this, for sure.

As blood-diamond traffic from 'conflict-zones' in Africa seep into North America, we'd like to control forms of continental vigilantism/banditry as we've seen with these 'eco-funny' three fugitives who opt to perform their daring/theatrical 'crimes' with their toy water-guns ('acid-guns') and thereby navigate more 'gravitational' forms of diamond-market or asset-value(s) depression!

If you've seen a white 1980s Volvo, something a 'hippie' might drive, you might want to give your local police-station a call, because the car just might occupy this 'Robin Hood' small trio-family of the 'three fugitives' we're tracking across the nation! This is not a light story, really.

We believe the 'theatrical' features of the masks the 'three fugitives' choose to wear/don represent an American folkloric fascination with the general design/fashions of showcase-driven performance-art. We're not sure, but we suspect there's a chance they may've been part of some traveling circus company. This is also just a theory.

The 'three fugitives' were tied to a crime-story in San Francisco, when they hopped off an SF-Chinatown trolley and marched into a jewelry-store during Halloween and claimed their toy 'acid-guns' would be used to shoot at the diamonds unless the owner agreed to swap some of their valued stones with toy-gems they brought with them. The next day, the Chronicle reported this 'trolley-theater' was linked to some blood-diamond piracy omen.

We do believe this crossfire with blood-diamond traffic could put the 'three fugitives' into some grave dilemma, but we want to intercept them before they're able to run into some major crime, perhaps involving a DC Bank bonds-heist linked to Swiss accounts for commercial governance investments during the Russo-Ukrainian War in Eastern Europe and therefore a bridge to very serious commercial activity and not just 'insured' and deceptive jewelry-store blood-diamond silos.

The 'three fugitives' also marched into a special Boston mansion belonging to a famous sports-shoe company CEO and stole his diamonds and swapped them with toy-gems (again), claiming they'd been part of some 'eco-circus' group using 'acid-guns' to send a media-message about chemical-warfare disaster and threatened the tycoon they'd use their acid-guns to shoot up his parked Rolls-Royce which would give him some nasty media headaches/heartburn!

Finally, we also believe the 'three fugitives' are linked to a very weighty US city bank-job involving the ransom of a guardsman the night-before the heist and masked/costumed entry into the bank's safe-box area for a 'family photo' session which involved the burning of a corrupt baron's safe-box and swapping of his Brussels (Belgium) bearer-bonds for Monopoly paper-money! The city newspapers wrote, "The three-fugitives are here in our city with a new message about eco-depression(s)!"

In all my years as an American sheriff/lawwoman, I 'doubt' any 'team' of eco-driven funnies or Robin Hoods or bandits have the same sort of 'familial theatricality' as these rather outrageous 'three fugitives' in North America, and one of my friends suggested we just might be able to 'catch them' enjoying a drive-in movie of Bonnie & Clyde at an American drive-in!

We don't know if we'll catch the iconic 'three fugitives' in this new era of media-driven inventive showcasing and commercial vanities/complications, but we're sure that nabbing this sort of 'team' or 'force' will re-present our unified intention(s) to cast dangerous crimes as signs of antisocial terrorism, bloody murder, and vice. However, I honestly/secretly hope the funny 'three fugitives' manage to continue their 'reign of funnies' without incurring any harm/violence, which up until now, they've managed to 'miraculously' detour! This is the modern world, really. We've got to catch this team, for the sake of Dr. Seuss himself.

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)