Catch Me If You Can!

A James Bond of pirate-gems narrates his 3-city world-adventure to subvert Ion; and he might discover pizza and passion(s).

A global adventure inspired loosely by Catch Me If You Can (Steven Spielberg). Enjoy! 

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I'm a bandit. No, I'm a blood-diamonds interventionalist in North America and Europe, operating to intercept blood-diamonds from baron safe-boxes in banks and swapping pirate-gems from 'conflict-zones' with baseball-cards. I'm considered the Skywayman, the James Bond of the intercontinental diamonds-interference matrix. Follow along in my 3-city journey here as I evade a baron (Ion) who controls diamonds in Amsterdam, Vancouver, and Chicago (Windy City).

Why do I use baseball-cards as part of my media-theatrics to undermine the media/social prestige of baron blood-diamonds in my work(s)? It's a sports-market world really in modern time, and I draw creative imagery from sports-culture iconography, and these 'evil barons' are reminded of the 'real' value of overground market activity, such as city-team diagrams, imprinted even in modern cinema!

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My first stop is Amsterdam, where I'll be performing a bank-safe box swap of blood-diamonds with an Olerud baseball-rookie card from Ion's bank and disguised as a theater-performing Sherlock Holmes.

I've studied American literature/history and drew from my own personal dreams/struggles with immigrating to America from abroad and discovering the raw ambition of the civilization matrix, all the while trying to make my parents proud, a feeling which gave me an 'earnest' view of the city landscapes and labyrinth machinations, in places like the city of my first Ion subversion, colored Vancouver (British Columbia).

I swap Ion's blood-diamonds from the Vancouver bank with an Olerud rookie-card (1990 Score), which serves to create a 'media-stir' about Baron Ion's 'strange-tidings'/dealings with the underground regarding Interpol-sarcasm for monitor(s) of his piracy-activity rumors around the world, and it's all sportsmanship of course.

BANK MANAGER: The bank business/activity was normal that day, so we're not anticipating anything diagonal/dark!

INTERPOL: Blood-diamond corruption today threatens the world-gem exchange and makes for terrorism woe(s).

I used toy water-guns filled with acid to burn a hole into Ion's safe-box before placing the Olerud baseball card in the substitution theatric. I told the lone escorting guardsman that my claim I wanted simple costumed photos of a guardsman in front of the safe-box was an Interpol-veil for this stunt to dethrone Ion from media-respectability, and it's all for solid British Columbia journalism.

My second stop is Amsterdam, where a very impressive bank is also where Baron Ion stores his piracy-gems from conflict-zones in Africa.

This time, I walk in with an egg-timer and dressed as a Scarecrow and claim I'm one of Ion's media-men here to take a timed-lock measurement of how long it takes to open/close/lock his prestigious/famed diamond(s) safe-box. This time, once more, I have a baseball-card to complete the costumed theater show for media buzzings.

BARON ION: I dunno what this 'James Bond' hopes to achieve with Interpol-office with my gems, but I'm insured/reported.

Of course he is, but when Ion discovers that during my time-lock exercise, I swap his gems for a Kirby Puckett rookie-card (baseball), a pronounced African-American star, while convincing the guardsman to sweep up the floor around the safe-box while I video-record the time-measurement for a YouTube upload that will present Ion's safe-box bank security area as 'very clean' and safe, he doesn't notice me make the switch!

It's time to enjoy pizza. No thief or James Bond can perform this type of underground magic-act around the globe with Interpol-office(s) without a special 'human' adoration of the zesty flavors/tones of White Pizza, an homage to great ricotta cheese and thin crusts, lacking in tomatoes, but abundant in grainy hygienic dreaminess!

Finally, my 3rd city-stop is the Windy City (USA), where Ion's blood-diamonds might traffic into the mafia-underground, and I hope to catch some 'dazzled' Chicago White Sox baseball-action in the stadium during this bank swap media-act.

BANK MANAGER: We're not expecting anything 'weird' since our baron has good faith in our safe-box light.

Once more, again, I swap Ion's piracy-gems with a baseball-card, and this time's a Chris Sale rookie-card (Bowman) and it's a real nice toast to the splendor(s) of Windy City sports/cadence, and it reminds me (and everyone else in Chicago!) why the Sox are a nice rendition of magazine-world baseball diamonds.

LETTER TO MY MOM: Dearest mother, my Interpol-office(s) work is astounding, and I wish father were around to hear of it.

Time for more White Pizza. There's something extra-ordinary about this Italian dish, and even though I'm not Italian by heritage, I can't get enough of this deep dish which has become an American staple, and it's not just because Italians abound in the USA. Hmmm. Mmmm.

Perhaps all this James Bond work really requires some off-time with baseball fanfare, so I head to the Sox game(s) dressed/geared as a 'super-fan' of the Windy City mystique, hoping the TV-cameras will 'catch-me' in a spot in fan-seat(s) as a 'clear cheerleader' of the baseball/Chicago...dialogue!

I've met my future wife during the Sox game, in which they storm back from behind and defeat rival Cubs (of Chicago origins!) by a 10-inning late-game score of 11-10. It was a rousting event, and my wife, a Sox fan (Ezzy) has become my real 'trophy' for all this work with intercontinental 'human' dreaming. Catch me if you can!

EZZY: I bought my darling this amazing Sox champion-ring with my daddy's fortune(s), and I think he'll say delicious (pizza).

BARON ION: When I 'catch' this kid, I'll determine exactly the 'scope' of Interpol-office(s) distances...and darkness!

That's my tri-city adventure involving the 'evil' Ion and my pizza-quest for diamonds-lore, Interpol-relation(s), and the discovery of lifelong happiness/romance with my Windy City darling(s). Catch me if you can! I love diamonds in the roughness.

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)