Better American: Private-Dick!

A tale of crime-prevention and consumerism defense for the modern American fabric(s).

A capitalism elegy inspired by Gone with the Wind. Enjoy, 

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American society espoused special forms of great aristocratic fortunes reflective of the accessing of convenience-luxuries in the commercial era of Bloomberg and the Home Shopping Network.

A trio of American country female musicians known as the Misfits were on sea on a cruise to celebrate the success of their eco-song Diamonds are Forevermore and wanted to return to their New England life of leisure and happiness to toast their incredible music-industry/TV successes.

MISFITS: We're eager to settle into a modern Western/American life of New England happiness with our hit-single!

They'd already become terrifically paid spokespersons for the new Swatch (Swiss) working-gears see-thru wristwatch line reminiscent of the early/first gear-transparent iMacs of the 1990s. These accessory markets would highlight the popular Misfits' social venture/investment into the consumer-world of aesthetics-based trending.

They'd also become spokespersons for the hot new Calendar chicken-pot pie microwave-foods brand made popular by Shoprite/Acme commercials, casting the iconic Misfits as a modern-day Supremes for their 'uncanny' sense of culture-consciousness lifestyle consumerism fineries. They'd really made it.

However, a psychotic immigrant decided to stalk these popular media-savvy New England aristocats of the music industry and pegged them as worthy of a 'JFK-assassination' show/shot, sending goosebumps to all young girls who'd helped the group become popular and celebrated.

MISFITS: We're hiring a special media-image consultant to find the right 'securities/guardsmanship' for our American life.

The woman-expert they'd hired, Lora, was a pro in finding the right human-personnel to make the Misfits emerged 'media-brand' or 'marquis' secured from this emerged modern threat of anti-celebrity terrorism. The man they hired, Amlan Satan, is an Algerian-American private-dick who walks around like a real-life modern 'Sherlock Holmes' and believes the terrorist stalking/terrorizing the fun Misfits might be some kind of ex-government official!

SATAN: I'm placing a dressed 'harlequin-ninja' mannequin outside the Misfits mansion-door to 'lure' the psycho to knock.

TERRORIST: How'd you brainwash/trick me, dick?
SATAN: I knew you might 'run' into a 'scene' with a 'foreign' guardian female-figurine!

TERRORIST: How'd you guess such a thing, dick?
SATAN: You seemed in your media-threat letters to be a man of 'foreign' activity angst!
TERRORIST: Well, I work for the government and grew tired of immigration office narcissism.
SATAN: I know that now.
TERRORIST: Well, what's on your mind, dick (in this interrogation, then)?
SATAN: Well, Mr. Psycho, I want to know the 'process' (exactly) of how you targeted the Misfits.
TERRORIST: You see, this group, randomly 'discovered' by me, was a prototype of capitalism frills!
SATAN: So, you're some kind of 'cynic' about American luxuries/consumerism?
TERRORIST: I detest the media's offerings of unchecked (what I call) 'toiletry vanities' in capitalism.
SATAN: You think the Misfits are nothing more than a bathroom vanity-mirror?
TERRORIST: Well, it seems to me that the Misfits remind us all of the 'darkness' of luxury in the West.
SATAN: This is what draws in the 'flocks' of immigrants who end up 'sullying' our great society, then?
TERRORIST: That's my earnest conclusion, dick.
SATAN: Hmm, it sounds to me you've been 'hacking' away to find the 'tones' of capitalism's holes.
TERRORIST: What's wrong with that?
SATAN: Nothing, as long as the flaws you find are things you seek to mend, Mr. Psycho!
TERRORIST: What's really redeemable about the Misfits, dick?
SATAN: You know the answer --- American entertainment!
TERRORIST: I despise the theater.
SATAN: Some might disagree --- what's the role of children's entertainment, for example?
TERRORIST: Yes, kids do love a good show (Disney-on-Ice)!
SATAN: Let's consider then the right 'method' for your mental treatment/incarceration, poor fellow.

TERRORIST: You're a rather 'psychiatric' officer of crime, dick.

SATAN: There's no other way to defend this American march.

Fortunately, for the fun/popular Misfits, their personnel/securities/media-pro (Lora) had found a real 'angel' of a 'super' hero in Amlan Satan who'd been able to simultaneously 'trick-trap' the anti-capitalism terrorist, a former immigrant-turned-official who called himself 'Mr. Psycho' (for press purposes!), while negotiating the right 'tones' of psychiatric therapy to prevent this media freakshow from destroying the otherwise 'canonical' Misfits music-venture into the modern Western 'luxury' and flowery of commerce-based distance(s). This was a boon for the post-9/11 era of commerce-highway stabilization worries...and crimes.

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)