Airplane: The Comedy (Fanfiction!)

Narrated 'adventure-comedy' of a dry tale of an airplane-rescue story involving a comics-fan/artist who ends up 'saving' a flight-plan!

Signing off with this fanfiction of Airplane!. Enjoy, 

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This is the story of my passenger airplane adventure on KLM, when I had to save the day when the two pilots got sick because of a strange poison in the dinner they ate during the flight.

I'd read many airplane/flight comics growing up as a kid in New England, and I thought the opportunity to fly a real passenger airplane someday would be really neat, but I'd no idea I'd be in the 'spot' of a rescue-man, as if I was a 'character' or 'avatar' in one of these comic-books!

So, I get to the airport and prepare to walk down its impressive halls and terminals to get to mine and wait for my flight to Amsterdam, where I was going to do a photo-shoot for a swimwear thing, since I'm a freelance photographer.

The two pilots greeted me when I boarded the plane and told them of my current work as a photographer and they were in Coronavirus masks of course, and they were very nice to me, though I 'sensed' they were a bit too eager to fly, as if they were like little kids.

The stewardesses/flight-attendants on my flight were quite nice and pretty, and I enjoyed very tasty meals, and my dinner, unlike the two pilots', was not poisoned, enabling me to simply enjoy all the gorgeousness of modern flight amenities/servicing.

"We're a proud airline, and we maintain character and reliability for our flights, and of course, we love artists" (Magazine).

I noticed one of the passengers was giggling a lot when she got too drunk, and the flight-attendant asked her 'politely' to be more quiet, but she kept asking for more Vodka (Absolut), until she just passed out. That's a funny memory. It's not the main memory of this adventure, however, folks.

Apparently, the airplane-technician in the airport-hangar had performed some routine engine rewiring a bit hastily which led to the plane somewhat rocking unsteadily, which will factor into our 'strange tale' soon.

Everyone was simply enjoying the flight until the flight-attendant ran out and asked if anyone knew how to fly a plane, since the two pilots had been food-poisoned. Everyone suddenly panicked, but I got up, raised my hands, and said, "No worries, folks...I've read about passenger airplane piloting and know just what to do!" which simply calmed everyone back down to their comfy seats (haha).

FLIGHT-CONTROL (Airport): Don't worry, striker, you've got what it takes!
ME: I know, I know, I know, but there's so many gears, and r/dials, and readings, man.
AIRPORT: No worries, striker-man, because we'll guide you through this horrid adventure, man!
ME: Cool.
AIRPORT: Here's what to do...you have to steer the unsteady plane (engine-wire malfunction).
ME: What do I need?
AIRPORT: Read the elevation and horizon-balance dials and r/readings and steer as if it's a boat!
ME: Oh, wow...yeah, I think I know how I can do that...rather perfectly, man.
AIRPORT: Cool.
ME: Wow...I thought this was going to be a horrid evil tragedy, man.
AIRPORT: Don't think like that, striker-man, because you're only hope.

So, I hopped into the pilot-seat in the cockpit and followed the orders of the flight-control center (airport!) and used the steering-holds to (basically) rock the plane like a boat and steer it like to keep balance while continuing to monitor the r/dials and balance-readings so as to 'choreograph' speed and elevation-level and vehicle orientation. Wow, I was really doing it!

FASHION-MODEL (Amsterdam): Wow, you're really an 'airplane' hero, 'striker' man.

ME: You're gorgeous, young lady, and boy, and I truly spiritually relieved as a smiling Catholic.

FASHION-MODEL: I feel like a 'celebrity' suddenly in your photographer-hands.

ME: I feel like a celebrity.

The moral of this 'funny adventure' is make sure you read airplane comics, since you never know what kind of skill(s) you'll pick up and land in the cockpit of a damned flight requiring you to 'surface' as an 'everyman'...legend. That's an airplane story, for good (or bad). Thanks for listening (and have a good future flight in the skies!).

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)