Princeton Heat*

Narrated account of an Ivy-man with an 'eye' for fortune-bank reassessments for 'funny' journalism regarding campus-asset(s) dread.

Signing off with this Ivy-campus heist, inspired loosely by Young Einstein (Yahoo Serious). Enjoy, 

DISCLAIMER: I've no 'official' ties to Princeton and present this work of movie-fanfiction as a 'dramatization' of 'academic' humor(s) and modern campus-culture contradictions regarding fortune/capitalism distance. 

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I'm coordinating a bank-robbery on the Princeton University (Ivy League) campus, and I'm costumed as a Cossack-gypsy with a toy machine-gun fitted with a thin glass-tube in the shooting piston filled with hot-acid to burn a hole into a safe-box containing $2M in British-Columbian bearer-bonds belonging to Prince Ali.

By daylight, I'm a Princeton linguistics-cogsci professor studying the development of language-trees in economics-oriented decision-making government modelizations paralleling socialized behaviors tied to fortune-belief systems/rituals (e.g., Wall Street 'consciousness). It's a strange new field of cogsci research (I know!), but I need an 'outlet' to feel more like 'James Bond' and less like the 'nerdist' of capitalism mazes that I actually am (Princeton)!

PRINCETON FANZINE: What we students/faculty are most proud of at this iconic Ivy is the fog-light(s) of great IQ-distances.

BANK MANAGER (Princeton Campus): We'd not anticipated anything 'unordinary' at our institution on the day of the 'Faerie.'

GUARDSMAN: What the hell you mean you're a 'real' faerie, brother?
ME: Look, I have glowing marbles and my toy-gun is filled with acid.

GUARDSMAN: You're burning into Prince Ali's safe-box and swapping his bonds with toys?

ME: Monopoly-money.

GUARDSMAN: Why?
ME: I'm a faerie...I'm sending a special 'academic' message about controls of prince-investments in schools.

GUARDSMAN: The Prince's assets are all insured, you know, 'Mr. Faerie'!

ME: I know, I know...keep this all a secret, and I promise the campus news-folk will label you a 'titan' of insurance.

PRINCETON POLICE: This 'Faerie' costumed as a gypsy/Cossack was perhaps part of some Ali-media stunt about campus-insurance, and all we figure is that our campus report(s) will file this bizarre 'modern academic' case as a 'faerie-tale' of unusual darkness!

PRINCETON FANZINE (Cyber): We'd been preparing a 'special' report about princely-fortunes tied to sci-tech ventures when this 'insurance-scam' media-stunt (possible!) stirred every student's fascination with the 'quality' of post Bonnie-and-Clyde era intelligentsia commentary about capitalism corruption(s)...or detention!

DIARY: I loved eating at the Princeton cafeteria alongside the 'rich' students, thinking of the 'cinema' of academic lyric(s).

GRADUATION SPEECH: Go forth and go with light-speed, into the yonder of post-9/11 era lyric(s)...and remember Yahoo!

CYBER-FRIEND: This was fantastic, brother!
ME: I know, I know...Princeton needed the 'good' press.

CYBER-FRIEND: I feel like we should make some 'faerie-tale' out of this entire ordeal, brother!
ME: I know...perhaps a dioramic one featuring a 'very young' Einstein (haha)...who frowns on legacies.

CAMPUS ADMINISTRATION: We don't like 'touch' of bank-heists on an Ivy-League campus...hopefully this will make the Post.

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)