First-Calgary: Thief of Diamante(s)

A Story by Abishai100

Narrated vignette about displaced treasure(s) and the lore of North American depression.

A heist-parody about diamonds inspired by A Fish Called Wanda (Kevin Kline). Enjoy,

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I was in Calgary when I noticed a special bank with a gorgeous teller-employee named Sandy who walked in to tend to a new-account involving diamonds from Brussels and Sierra Leone and remembered the film Blood-Diamond (Leo DiCaprio).

I purchased a nifty Halloweentime costume and walked into the very-same bank on Valentine's Day (Calgary) and told the very-same bank-teller (Sandy) that I was a theater-performed with a toy water-rifle and credit-card hologram 'trick' I was performing at various Calgary banks for the diamond-baron Goldfinger for Facebook-uploads.

SANDY: I can escort you inside the safe-boxes area for your Facebook-photos for this 'Goldfinger-media' operation Mr. Satan.

INTERPOL: Blood-diamond corruption today threatens the world-gem exchange(s) and makes terrorism woes.

While Sandy was tending to a new high-profile/caliber customer that day from Microsoft, I waited in my costume and flashed my credit-card 'dazzling' hologram-trick to the other patrons/customers before entering the safe-box area with my toy water-rifle which was (secretly!) filled with hot-acid.

CUSTOMER INTERVIEW: All I know is that 'dude' couldn't be a robber-bandit, since he'd just been thrilling with credit-card hologram tricks for the audience that day inside Calgary, and perhaps this 'media-draw' (Goldfinger) is some 'strange' news-eschew linked to blood-diamond report(s) ironically tied to some other rascal...the 'real' culprit!

I walked out the Calgary institution that day with $20M worth of Goldfinger's blood-diamonds from Sierra-Leone and left in-place some toy-gems in my jacket lining after holding the lone-escorting guardsman (Leo) hostage/silent with my 'acid-gun' and burnt a hole into the safe-box and left a note in his pocket, "This is Goldfinger's 'special' Calgary alien-traffic insurance drawing."

GOLDFINGER: My gem's insured by the North American gov't-Calgary, and I 'doubt' this media-stunt is a Facebook-IQ danger.

When I went back to my abode in the Windy-City, I purchased Xenomorph robot-troll action-figurine to remind myself that the real danger(s) of 'alien-traffic' surrounding 'assured gems' from Africa/Europe involve the human madness of capitalism deformed...or distanced. Earth needs an Invasion, perhaps.