Greenland Thing

A Story by Abishai100

'Snake-Eyes' narrates this adventure (Greenland) alongside his dog-pal (Cujo) regarding an engaged 'alien-thing' with a global-warming omen.

A fanfiction of The Thing (Kurt Russell), set in Greenland and referencing global-warming eco-chat(s). Enjoy,

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Greenland was where I'd been stationed with my Alsatian (Cujo) in the winter of 2022 while doing 'serious' study of Earth-climate/temperature change(s) of uncomfortable value-waves or turbulence-IQ. We logged one week in particular during which the temperature in the afternoon (75F) was 40-degrees higher than late-night (35F), which is abnormally shifting, requiring summertime day-gear and wintertime night-gear. Greenland became my special study-center with Cujo for this global-warming investigation. However, that wasn't what we encountered that's worth this retelling. Follow along!

My name's 'Snake-Eyes' and I'd been positioned by the elite paramilitary covert 'organization' known very-loosely as 'GI Joe' and myself and the most science(s)-oriented 'super' soldier of the force/unit/group/team. I'd never been to Greenland and heard all the joke(s) of 'Greenland is icy; Iceland is greeny' and took no particular IQ-notice until this global-warming study of note(s) shaped my newfound Facebook-IQ interests for social-media commentary on citizenry-feeling(s) on global-warming atmospherics! Follow along.

SNAKE-EYS: We just got a report-call, Cujo-friend, that there's some discovered 'spaceship' in the snow requiring photo-IQ.

CUJO: Woof!

My girlfriend Shelbye thought me insane to go 'inquire' about the spaceship and see (further) if the observed-sighting had anything to do with an 'alien' intrigued by global-warming Earth frailty. I mean, what would an alien remark on the 'fertility' of Earth given our special new-era manmade global-warming inquiry? She thought I was insane.

SHELBYE: Greenland is 'ground-zero' for global-warming report(s); I know that; but your photo-IQ inquiry is dangerous, Snake.

SNAKE-EYES_ Look at that, Cujo-friend, that spaceship is submerged/parked in that frozen area like an anti-welcome mat!

CUJO: Woof.

The 'Greenland Thing' that emerged from the craft right-before our very-eyes (me/Cujo) was some floating no-legged humanoid torso (no arms) human-head (deformed) speaking 'creature-man' which announced to us, "Kill me or I'll release spores all over Earth to deform your race as it's been 'unhosting' of planetary temp-control(s); my warning is immediate/singular/social."

EMERGENCY_TRANSMISSION: I've 'confidential' photo-IQ files regarding "GREENLAND-THING" and need kill-order for Earth-IQ.

SNAKE-EYES: Looks like this special 'heat-gun' the GI Joe(s) have put-together for us for the Greenland thing is beautiful.

CUJO: Woof!

We killed that 'Thing' right-before our very-eyes and now remain certain that Greenland is indeed 'ground-zero' for all climatology global-warming inquiry and continue our study of what makes Earth hospitable...and non-dangerous.