The Elf

A 'real' Elf finds the ideal mall/manager to nest a great cheerful 'mission' and discovers stranger heroics/ethos.

An Xmas-time 'hospitality' comic-jingle inspired by the unusual/charming modern film Elf (James Caan). Thanks for reading, 

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Welcome to Earth, where the race of humans creates stranger tides of homeland invasions thanks to anti-capitalism sentiments arising from the centuries-old Israel-Palestine problem regarding petrol-politics (wow).

Fortunately, the world is blessed with a stranger dude, a real-life elf from the forest named Amlan Satan who's disguised himself as a humanoid cyber-writer/salesman and using an Elf-avatar called "Good-Elf" to spread the word (on social-media) that chess-stalemate peace programs for shared/inter-religious cyber-games can save the world and bring together people around the globe with 'Selfie' experiments.

ELF (Amlan Satan): "I'm distributing miniature toy-themed chess-sets to kids/teens in nationwide malls and search for the 'best' mall Santa/salesman for my cyber-story about the nature of toy markets and chess-friendship and cyber-game networks for the holiday-season, to help people simply forget about the 'horror' of 9/11."

This magical-hero Elf (Amlan Satan) casted his special Xmas-archer hero super-elf 'avatar' named "Good-Elf" to make a special post-9/11 age 'fantasy' about the pure-quality of commercial securities during the Xmas-shopping season all over the United States (yeah!).

ELF (Amlan Satan): My goodness, I've found the ideal mall in North America, and the manager and his mall-Xmas Santa 'man' make this the best commerce-hub in the United States, and incidentally, it's been 'colored' by the special arts of inter-religious folk imagery invoking peace-chess stories from around the Earth, including troubled Western civilization country of Northern Ireland (United Kingdom).

MALL MANAGER: So, you want to work in my mall now and tell people about your "Good-Elf" avatar and claim you're an elf?
AMLAN SATAN (Elf): Yeah, isn't that great, sir (for post-9/11 age cheer-up during the holidays)?

MANAGER: Are you insane...you actually 'believe' you're a 'real' Elf, like, from the North Pole where the 'real' Santa dwells?
AMLAN SATAN (Elf): Oh, c'mon, what's the harm in a little 'movie' insanity for Xmas, anyways...I'm a real good usher/worker.

MANAGER: I could use the extra-help, but just remind people you're not crazy; tell them you're an artist who loves cinema.

ELF: You got it, sir!

While working in the mall and the movie-theater inside the mall, Elf (Amlan Satan) met a gorgeous gypsy circus-performer named Ezzy who'd been traveling through with her circus-company (Dartmouth) to put on a Transylvanian modern spin on the old tale of the Hunchback of Notre Dame, and Elf told her about his love of cyber-chess clubs and his goodly "Good-Elf" comics-cartoon kids' Xmas-avatar representing post-9/11 age capitalism-optimism for the modern-day good Earth.

EZZY: It seems to me you 'think' you're a real elf...for what it's worth...sometimes I 'believe' I'm a real genius (gypsy?).

While going to the bank together to deposit his first paycheck and falling in love with Ezzy, Amlan (Elf) and she became witnesses to an Xmastime desperate bank-robber named Ralph and moved the goodly Elf to wield his special water-gun to shoot the man in the eyes, right through the holes of his rascal-mask, leading to his arrest and preventing a bank shooting. Ezzy gave him a much-suprising kiss on the forehead (ha).

EZZY: What're you going to do with the mayor's hero-check/reward money, honey-bee?
ELF (Amlan Satan): I'm getting us a bag full of toy gems to distribute to kids in the movie-theater aisles on Xmas-Day (yes).

EZZY: Well, what about your manager?

ELF: Mister Ed --- well, he'll get a 'fantastic' marble chess-set from me (yes).

EZZY: What about for me/us?
ELF: How about...a terrific Ruby-trash-can (for eco-conservation IQ)?

EZZY: Alright; that sounds terrific.

MANAGER: Well, I'm sorry you're leaving us...returning to the North Pole, Satan?
ELF (Amlan Satan): No, no; I'm off to Romania with my new darling (Ezzy), Mister Ed.

MANAGER: Well...congrats...and I suppose I should tell you the movie-theater kids fell in love with your "Good-Elf" avatar.

ELF: I knew they would...and I made you a special laminate-copy of that avatar (for your kids too!).

MANAGER: Why, that's really thoughtful of you, Satan; thanks again (and keep the cheering-up mood up...for 9/11, right?).

ELF: Will do, sir; remember...Xmas comes but once a year...to deliver us from the Hell of human fear(s).

MANAGER: Right...you're an 'excellent' Elf!

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)