London Goldfish Wanda!

A tale of London intrigue and adventure, a bad captain, and a dashing barrister who might draw away one of the 'rascals' of goldfish-taste.

A UK-fable of crime-romance branching inspired by the all-time great heist-fable film A Fish Called Wanda (Kevin Kline). Thanks for reading (and Happy 2023), 

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Welcome to the United Kingdom, London specifically, where a band of Americans have been living to exploit a banking system loophole and swap a blood-diamond baron's terrorist-finance gems with toy beads, all for the 'goodwill' Robin Hood message of insurance corruption woes in the West (wow).

CAPTAIN AMLAN SATAN: This is a job for us 'cool' 3 Americans in London and we're spotting the Crown-Jewels on social-media!

Amlan Satan is no ordinary Merry-Men captain of blood-diamond thieves, and he used a special Evil-Elf cyber-comics cartoon avatar about capitalism-parody to create an insurance-joke about blood-diamond corruption paranoia in the UK, and this social-media post had made certain magical 'ripples' in the United Kingdom prior to the heist involving a temp-hijacked London double-decker red-bus enroute to the Bank on a 'glorious' Saturday morning in January.

CAPTAIN AMLAN SATAN: These 3 Americans, we, are choreographing a Romanticism critique of diamond-insurance storytelling.

The London news-makers had no simple choice but to report that a 'Scarecrow' costumed/masked captain of the American 'Merry-Men' hopped off their 'borrowed' double-decker English passenger-bus and made the blood-diamond swap in 10 minutes using water-guns filled with acid and left their business-card with the print, "English Circus Insurance Company" (Interpol-relation)!

Now, the American Merry-Men led by Captain Amlan Satan included two other great folks from the West, Raki and Esmerelda, and 'Ezzy' was romantically-tied to Satan himself while Raki was romanced with his beloved protagonist of this capitalism-metaphysics faerie-tale, a lovely goldfish named Wanda.

RAKI: No worry, Wanda my heart --- for this United Kingdom 'crusade' will set the stage for greater journalism for gem-chess!

Raki, a graduate of CalTech, had grown up with a special fondness for Eastern cinema and when he was approached by his MIT-buddy (Captain Satan) about this jewelry-operation linked to insurance-journalism in the UK, he had no choice but to reflect on his most fave Eastern kung-fu film before deciding to visit London with Wanda (his beloved goldfish of great luck).

EZZY: This better work, Amlan; I'm getting goosebumps and feeling some romance-wind from a very special English barrister (who happens to be as big a fan of social-media in the UK as I am, Satan).

CAPTAIN SATAN: You're here for two things Ezzy --- to keep me cool and serve as my accomplice (maybe for social-media?).

LONDON FANZINE: This insurance exposure had sent some news to the Palace which offered media-messages about informed enquiry surrounding real treasure-securities for the modern globe-exchange (wow).

RAKI: Wanda my heart --- I've procured a very special London apt. for us (and Satan/Ezzy) for a cool 200+ (ha).

EZZY: You replaced the Crown Jewels piece with a replica, Satan?
AMLAN: What the Hell else am I here for, with you, and Raki (and his little goldfish)?

RAKI: You're going to get us the electric-seat, captain!

AMLAN: Relax, it's all for an aquarium charity benefit media-theater, and everything's working (now) for an insurance journal.

EZZY: By that 'dashing' English barrister (Cleese)?

AMLAN: Excellence...but who's Cleese, Esmerelda?

EZZY: Don't worry about it, Amlan.

AMLAN: Alright!

BARRISTER CLEESE: You say this "Scarecrow" man captained the blood-diamond swap in the London bank on Saturday a.m.?

CLERK/GUARDSMAN: It was all some 'insurance' media theater showmanship for staging; he claimed one member was Martian!

CLEESE: Martian...are we to believe this jewelry-operation in the grand United Kingdom is tied to some 'alien' conspiracy?

CLERK: Why now...after all, isn't this 'Scarecrow' a world-messenger of the American harvest (haha)?

CLEESE: These dastardly Merry-Men then mailed an Imran-Khan cricket-sports novelty-trade treasure (card) to the Palace!

LONDON FANZINE: Seems like this is a January-Man season of great 'antiterrorism' chess (or conspiracy from Mars).

EZZY: You're beautiful, Mr. Cleese.
CLEESE: Please understand, Esmerelda, I've a job to do, and it's 'certainly' official (now).

EZZY: Oh, I'm going to depart from my bad captain of Hell and think of you, in your courtroom, the English barrister of love!

CLEESE: Fan of social-media (like me).

EZZY: Yeah.

INSPECTOR: You know it was your 'darling' Esmerelda who turned you in, Captain Satan?

AMLAN: I suspected as much, inspector Britain; in fact, I suspect the 'culprit' in this betrayal-tale of insurance is Cleese.

INSPECTOR: Any regrets, Amlan?

AMLAN: No, not really; it was all good theater, you know; besides, my pal/associate's left England with Wanda.

INSPECTOR: Who's Wanda, Satan?

AMLAN: None of your business (but thanks for asking!).

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)