Philadelphia: Exiled

A Story by Abishai100

An unusual 'faerie-tale' set in Philadelphia concerning the 'detective(s)' of modern social-traffic dough.

A tale of what makes city-judging a 'thing' of human proportion, inspired (very loosely!) by Philadelphia (Tom Hanks).

DISCLAIMER: This work of fiction offers no commercial/legal ties to the US-city of Philadelphia and all images used herein reflect no view/activity of any representative person(s)/body and therefore is cast as purely 'personal' exercise in dramatic expression (for 'open' translation).

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Abishai converted to Catholicism and decided he'd rob the WSFS Bank in the city of Philadelphia during the Xmas-season, after being dismissed summarily from the Post-Office, despite years of post-graduate (Penn-State) service.

ABISHAI: I was a star-athlete for the Nittany-Lions under Paterno, and this infuriating condition moved me to abandon my cyber-chess homeschooling work and seek a more 'radical' statement about dirty diamond insurance in the City of Brotherly Love.

Abishai was a good student at Penn-State and played well as a backup-QB for Coach Paterno and performed very well and helped the Nittany Lions grab a coveted conference title and after graduating announced his intention to simply work in Philadelphia as a dutiful postman and conduct his cyber-chess homeschooling project (NewPorcellian) and also collect Philly-sports trading-cards (e.g., Topps/Dykstra, Upper-Deck/Lindros, Bowman/Iverson, etc.). However, something in this Philly-star simply snapped after being fired from the post-office and decided his only 'agenda' for patriotism now was some insane 'Robin-Hood' deed concerning blood-diamond smuggling/storage at the WSFS-Bank and then sought to make social-media posts for Mardi-Gras seasons in this modern post-9/11 era of great American personality-networking/activity (wow).

So, this unusual tale, which has more twists than meets-the-eye, involves firstly this grand Robin-Hood 'opus' concerning blood-diamond swaps in the WSFS-Bank of Philadelphia. Abishai marched in costumed as an alarm-installment rep and wearing a beard/mustache/sunglasses and burned a hole into the diamond safe-box of Baron Goldfinger (rumored to move 'insured' conflict-zone gems from Sierra Leone) and replaced his possible 'terrorism-financing' gems with glass beads (ha).

BANK MANAGER: "Baron Goldfinger was required to offer a special social-media (Twitter) message concerning the insurance-prestige/definition of his precious million-dollar (insured!) stones for a journal/examination concerning the detective(s) of Philadelphia treasure-storage/motions (perhaps bridging to DC/NY)."

ABISHAI: The glass beads placed inside the Goldfinger-box in exchange for the diamonds (Insured!) he found 'missing' and required a special new 'insurance' statement on social-media for Philadelphians represented our citizenry-commentary regarding consumerism integrity/dependability in this time of great treasure-motion insurance securities, and now I feel 'resolved' after this horrifying dismissal from what I considered to be a psyche-identity patriotism work-life in this great City of Brotherly Love; that's why I'm surrendering myself to the authorities and seek a proper trial for treatment of criminal-insanity (hmm).

GIRLFRIEND: "I dated Abishai in college, while he 'flourished' as an athlete for Coach Paterno, and I found him to be an overly Romantic sort of fellow, and overall an affable Philadelphian, but I'd never suspect that he'd go onto these stranger struggles and then find himself in this high-profile media-case involving Baron Goldfinger; besides, I'm now busy with the City of Brotherly Love fashion-world/industry and have my own (undisclosed) commentary regarding 'capitalism' insurance/marketing (ok?)."

Well, folks, the density of this Philadelphia case of very bizarre proportion concerns not only this 'Robin-Hood' theater-stunt by the criminally-insane Abishai, ex-patriot of this City of Brotherly Love, but also an ensuing 'darker' vision of legalese complication(s), involving the disclosure of the ex-football star's stranger comment, "I wanted to expose my secret daydream 'Catholic' fantasy concerning a 'faerie-avatar' from American cartoons/media representing capitalism ebullience/participation, and I believe she's my 'godly' wife or angel of democracy (yes!)."

PROSECUTION: The fact that the defendant claims his 'romantic' love of a faerie-cartoon avatar symbolizing 'capitalism' energy offers us nothing novel/clearing regarding his obvious criminal nature and intent to disturb 'normal' overground diamond-insurance reports/examination, and this city's catering to this pseudo-mysticism 'theater' regarding this faerie-obsession with cartoons only reveals the defendant is simply dangerous/untouchable.

DEFENSE: We know, ladies and gentlemen of this Philadelphia-jury, that Abishai is reported his 'claim' that he seeks psychiatric care for his criminal-insanity, and given these stranger conditions he's declared, regarding his 'anguish' over diamond-smuggling/terrorism paranoia in this post-9/11 age and the claim of a 'Catholic' tie to his 'faerie-hypnosis' with this capitalism-cartoon 'female-angel' avatar of 'pizzazz' suggests to us, unlike the 'vehement' prosecution, that Abishai is neither dangerous/untouchable...but rather a man who simply requires 'basic' psychological therapy for his apparent Philadelphia 'child-like' fascination with fortune-depression.

This strange story has a positive ending, folks. Abishai was declared not guilty and was found temporarily insane and was admitted into a 'fine' psychiatric center in the great City of Brotherly Love (Philadelphia) where he'd spend years thinking about why he'd become so 'transfixed' by that capitalism-themed cartoon faerie-femme 'angel' avatar of great pizzazz (wow).