Evil_Elf

A delicious spin on an iconic/offbeat Xmas-season film about a wayward/displaced 'human' elf who makes for discovery in Earthling-transit diaries (for odd-books).

A bright non-Xmas season adaptation of the offbeat/magical/witty holiday-season film Elf (James Caan), which I think you'll like, 

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Hello, my name's Amlan Satan, and I departed from the North-Pole as a wayward 'evil' Elf, dissatisfied with my revelation that Santa had found me as an abandoned-babe and raised me as a toy-shop elf for his Xmas-workshop, only to realize I was somewhat deficient in toy-production handy-crafts, and I knew I was not always 'right' in Santa's company anyways, and when Old-Claus revealed to me my parents' whereabouts were for long-time unknown and then became known, I wanted to reconnect with Earthling-civilization 'culture' and decided to trek all the way to a Homeland-Jersey 'examination' for the holiday-season in a world of social-media handshakes in transit/traffic/pedestrianism commentary for Selfie-books, which is what this faerie-tale (actually) concerns. Follow along!

STORE-MANAGER: We're shipping you to Buffalo (New York) for Xmas-consumerism!

ME: Well, I thought I'd stay here for a Homeland-Jersey Earthling examination, sir.

MANAGER: Nah, Satan; this is our store-order, and we're circulating personnel now.

ME: It's because I'm a movable employee/personnel, eh, sir?

MANAGER: We think you'd be better-suited for Buffalo Xmas-shoppers hospitality.

ME: Okay, seems I'm made for some bureaucracy-superstitions charms now.

MANAGER: That's the salesmanship-book, Satan...odd-number(s) photo-graphics.

ME: Wow, Xmas-imagery for Earth-consumer cards...I'm ready, sir (thanx!).

So, I was shipped to Buffalo, and I was now working inside an Xmas-toyshop for the holiday-season of frenzied shopping for toys and clothing and items for families and couples (and kids!). I decided to invest especially in a great toy-line of robot-toys made to look like cassettes, you know communications/tech symbolism for capitalism-race 'chess' (ha!). Well, my parents were actually Buffalo-citizens, but I didn't want to just hop into Buffalo and started out more south, but was then moved to Buffalo, which is what I sought anyways all-along, but I didn't want to 'nag' my manager-boss to move me to Buffalo (NY), and when I got the insider-info offer, I took it! Now, I'd reconnect with my mom/dad, and perhaps I'd share with them the revelations of discovery for odd-jobs and toys with science-tech civilization (capitalism) significance.

DAD: You're my son?

ME: They told me so in the North-Pole (Santa himself!).

DAD: Santa found you...abandoned...and then found us...so you're here now?

ME: Oh, father...this will be a New York Xmas for tech-toys glitter for family-IQ.

DAD: This is sudden shock, sonny-lad (ok).

ME: Mom really likes me...and my robot-cassette toys for Xmas (too).

DAD: Right (good...hmmm).

ESMERELDA: You love my art.

ME: I sure do, Ezzy (thanx for the share!).

ESMERELDA: Well, I've been working in this Xmas-store (Buffalo) for 2-yrs. now!

ME: We're going to make a fantastic New York couple, Esmerelda (wow).

ESMERELDA: So you're reunited with long-lost parents and claim you're an Elf?

ME: Evil-Elf; I'm adapting my wonderful story into a comic-avatar story for kids.

ESMERELDA: I'm your lucky girlfriend, Mr. Amlan Satan?

ME: Why not...for Xmas' direction (unpredictability)?

ESMERELDA: Wow (art's bending).

"Doing well is the result of doing good. That's what capitalism is all about" (Ralph Waldo Emerson). 

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)