Airplane-'25 (Fanfiction)

Friday the 13th Summer joy adaptation of the '80-cinema gem about airways-transit serendipity for laughter and listening for (Western) lancets.

Airplane! (Robert Hays) adaptation. Happy Summer/Friday-13th (thanks for reading!), 

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"There I was, returned from the Afghan-War, a happy American immigrant/citizen/patriot/soldier-veteran, reading my modern social media culture for a pre-flight intuition of maybe reuniting with my flight-attendant ex-wife on a flight from O'Hare to Schipol aboard an Italian airplane for social commentary (Facebook-like!)."

ELAINE: Look, Ted...I'm only a service woman for ya on this continent-trek, ok.

ME: Look, Elaine...I know things were rough, and you didn't want a war-sad art.

ELAINE: You kept doodling about strange 'heroes' on football fields in the USA!

ME: Elaine, I learned a lot as a pilot in that Afghan-place, and I want you back.

ELAINE: Just board the airplane, now, Ted...it's Summer-'25, and I'm optimistic.

ME: That's cool, Elaine.

"I made a crayon pic for Elaine, my very-special flight-attendant lady aboard my passenger-flight to Amsterdam; and I wanted the right sketch stick-figure crayon art to express so many things to her...like how human beings daydreamt about fantasy armchair-politics and feeling 'in-mix' with non-American 'troubles' in the United Kingdom and Palestine and Australia, even though they didn't really worry too much about all that on any given Sunday, cheering (with me!) for the Buffalo Bills (or something else)."

"Of course, Elaine was a content air trekker now, having settled down with Baron Ion in Euro-currency time, enjoying her equestrian hobbies when she wasn't an airway(s) service-woman of incomplete-arts of airport-transit securities in this new Earth of terrorism paranoia for the heart (damn). On-board, I noticed various other passengers whispering/chatting about Earth-realm 'things' of the heart. I thought about Elaine only (Facebook-like)."

OVERHEART CHAT(S)

PASSENGER 50: "You sure you want the fish for brunch, dear?"
PASSENGER 51: "There's rumors that the fish is poisoned, wife!"

PASSENGER 52: "I'm the only young boy on-board, glad to meet ya, girl."

PASSENGER 53: "I thought I'd be the only little-girl, and now we're sweethearts."

PASSENGER 54: "According to Elaine, the O'Hare station reports plane trouble."

PASSENGER 55: "According to Elaine, that one passenger she knows was a pilot."

PASSENGER 56: "Do you want a brochure to read, friend, while we find safety?"

PASSENGER 57: "I guess it'd take mind-off if pilot had fish...he's like a Martian."

"Life's such island-consciousness, you know? There was great 'troubles' and we re-routed to an island, post-engine failure and pilot-poison Hell with the cuisine (fish), which required me to become a pilot-hero (for Elaine, all!). I got us home safely, thank the gods! Sure, I was a soldier-veteran, but now I didn't romance too much in my brain-weaves anymore of being a fireman, hero-mailman, shopping mall gentleman, or even war novel writer/artist...just a simple island-getaway man seeking reconciliation with my devastated/estranged ex-wife (dear Elaine). She divorced that Baron, and I promised I'd stop reading about IRA 'things' (Facebook-like)."

ELAINE: Oh, these are cute, and maybe patriotic.
ME: See, wife...I promised to be more 'lax' about Earthling distances.

ELAINE: You seem more grounded, and Baron Ion was simply too stuffy, ok.

ME: See, the left stick-figure is me as a learning-man; the other's a fireman.

ELAINE: Right, ha...the fireman's not you...and that's sanity, hubby (cool).

ME: Thanx for the film poster (air-transit), Elaine (wow).

ELAINE: You're my hero.

"Doing well is the result of doing good. That's what capitalism is all about" (Ralph Waldo Emerson). 

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)