Escape from Jaws

American salesman narrates this forest-encounter with a buzz-weapon carrying psycho and escape-jigsaws concerning sports-cards treasures for Earthling consciousness know.

Injecting my Earth-matrix securities superstition Marvel Comics 3-part antiterrorism story with another short, a horror-portal inspired by the original transit-jewel film The Texas Chain Saw Massacre (Tobe Hooper). Happy Holidays, all (stay warm), 

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"There I was thinking of my Selfie-self as a cool shaded American Homeland salesman of things of NFL trading-cards shine for marketing excellence/fun making-way to Austin to find a customer willing to reward me with a great timeshare weekend for a dual-set of treasures I boasted about to him on a cyber-forum, cards featuring a New York and Texas athlete of differing sports (baseball/football), reminding him how the great Bo Jackson of the Royals/Raiders (likewise) stood-out in those two very-same sports for a surfacing TV-culture of fanfare-commentary for things...Facebook-like."

BARON: These cards I care about and consider your consciousness valued for sale.

ME: Thanx, Baron Ion.

BARON: I got you this timeshare ticket because of your sales-glow for my taste!

ME: Thanx, Baron Ion.

BARON: You're to this timeshare, right-outside Austin, to cheer this smile for me.

ME: Thanx, Baron Ion.

BARON: There's gossip of a chainsaw-wielding weirdo lurking, but no sports-fears.

ME: Thanx, Baron Ion.

"The Baron I made great-trek for sales warned me of a horrid mysterious case-gossip at the timeshare I'd 'won' with my cyber-boast of things baseball/football in the American Homeland, but I didn't take him seriously at all...until the superstitions turned truth and I was confronted by the demonic 'brute' in skin-mask wielding his buzz-weapon and insisting I meet/greet him in the woods behind my Texas-timeshare. What choice did I have, lest he return and bloody-murder me right in my timeshare-room? I got myself costumed and vigilante-like and carried two more trading-cards, one a Yogi Berra card and another a Troy Aikman card (baseball/football), not the ones I sold to the Baron to earn this prize-retreat outside Austin...cinema-like."

LEATHERFACE: Wooo...woods.

ME: Here's a Yogi Berra and Troy Aikman sports cards double-set for $40.

LEATHERFACE: Hmmmm?

ME: Plus, a stick-figure doodle I made of ya alongside Batman (DC Comics).

LEATHERFACE: Wooo!

ME: The $40 price is a mark-down, about 10% of the culture-value of the players.

LEATHERFACE: Hmmmm?

ME: That's 10% of something 'art' for a man of mind I imagine is about 30-yrs. old.

LEATHERFACE: Hahahaha.

ME: I'd think you'd like this crayon doodle double-set as gift to go with it.

LEATHERFACE: Hmmmm.

ME: That's square-deal for chance choice to pardon my life (for jellyfish).

LEATHERFACE: Good.

ME: Farewell...American psycho.

LEATHERFACE: Good.

"Would you believe I managed to reason with that American psycho with buzz-weapon in that forest behind my timeshare I'd won for card-sales of things of American sports markets for miracle-smile, friends? Well, I did...and I cheered the miracle with a world-exchanges culture-culinary treat reflective (Indian) soft luchi-bread plate back in my hometown upon return and thought why sports trading-cards had become a new traffic-matrix languages 'hyperbole' for (all) things jigsaws (ha)."

"Doing well is the result of doing good. That's what capitalism is all about" (Ralph Waldo Emerson). 

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)