Hansel + Gretel: A Football Raisin

Investment drawn 'step'-siblings of NFL-qualia must escape the sudden-wrath of an investor-baroness in a cottage requiring wit(s) for trading-cards know-good (story-adaptation).

Hansel and Gretel (Brothers Grimm) fairy-tale inspired pseudo brother/sister sports-universe fantasy-misadventure, for your pre-'26 Saturday, injected in-between my (qualia-rich) GI-Joe (comics media) terrorism-fable/trilogy. Thanks for reading (stay safe/warm!), 

DISCLAIMER: This work of fiction/adaptation contains images/references with no commercial/explicit ties to any person(s)/body and is cast as purely a 'personal' expression for social arts (for 'open' views/translations).

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AMLAN: I've been working as a football trading cards salesman/storywriter, sis.

DANICA: Well, we're like 'step'-siblings, given my NFL-daddy's love of your things.

AMLAN: I know it, and I feel like your bro for this social/media expo for Euro-TV.

DANICA: You're certain the Bucs are the ultimate Euro-extension franchise arm?

AMLAN: I know, I know, sis...all talk of Jags-London franchise, but it's Bucs-UK.

DANICA: You think the pirate-force of the Orange-State Bucs has the London-art?

AMLAN: So does the Baroness, sis...and we make this New England jaunt to her.

DANICA: She's reputed to be ruthless; and she ain't just a candy-benefactor, bro.

AMLAN: Trust me, sis...she's treating us like we're siblings and not just net-pals.

DANICA: I hope you're right, brother...for a football quest (Facebook-like).

Amlan, sports-cards man and Euro-TV things investor, linked-up with hits (American) football nets 'associate' (angel-daughter of an NFL-father who'd become Amlan's special 'super-fan' of things of amateur/aspiring trade and competition storywriting fitness in the West), Danica. Amlan and Danica were suddenly in-ways brother-and-sister trekking to a New England cottage owned by the cold-capitalist 'Baroness' who sought to profit from Amlan's special cards-collection to hoist her social/media profile-persona as an investor with arm of modern Western world IQ in things of competition superstitions (cinema-like).

AMLAN: We have to trick this Baroness-witch to escape this Hell-cottage, sis.

DANICA: She seemed pretty furious when we got drunk and joked we ain't family.

AMLAN: Baroness liked our 'step'-siblings persona/aura for her social persona.

DANICA: When we kept insisting (drunk) we weren't (actual) family, she got angry.
AMLAN: She put is in her basement locked and forced our escape-eye now, sis.

DANICA: How'd we trick this Baroness-witch (now), brother?
AMLAN: I'll tell her I've a special (hidden/unshared) card in my backpack.

DANICA: When she lets us out to look at it?

AMLAN: You push her into the oven I'll heat for baking.

DANICA: While I'm in the kitchen with her and drop some cards on the floor?

AMLAN: She'll be chums with ya and help you pick them up (by the oven).

DANICA: So, what's this special/hidden NFL-card she'll be enticed to chat with IQ?

AMLAN: Dual-activity athlete Jim Harbaugh rookie-card (Facebook-like), sis.

Friends, Amlan/Danica miraculously escaped the clutches of the dark Baroness-witch in the American Homeland (New England); and they left a suicide-note reading, "Putting myself in my own cottage-oven post-trade disasters of a Harbaugh-card fortune (for Euro-TV know)." Amlan called 911 and had police rescue the Baroness from her own oven Danica pushed her into and locked right-after the darling 'step'-siblings escaped the cottage. Of course, Amlan had turned the oven off. Danica asked why Baroness would want to keep the entire 'misadventure' secret, and Amlan (sharply) explained, "The witch shall like the spun police-chat about things of mind-change post-awareness of NFL-cards market (knits) superstitions, sis!"

BARONESS: I thought I turned the oven on, but it wasn't; my mailman locked it.

POLICE: Why'd you want suicide (in oven), given your pronounced media-persona?

BARONESS: I don't want suicide, changed (my) mind...just swept by my NFL-card.

POLICE: You want this (entire) ordeal quiet/secret, eh?

BARONESS: I evade bad-press, and I suspect my (two) visitors called you for me.

POLICE: Then, you owe them...they left-behind this faeries-book for ya, eh?

BARONESS: They're clear in my book...they (in irony) saved my life/spirit (ok).

POLICE: That's football (Facebook-like!).

BARONESS: Cool.

"Doing well is the result of doing good. That's what capitalism is all about" (Ralph Waldo Emerson). 

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"Money is everything" (Ecclesiastes)