Ophelia

Gridelin veins strike out like branches

Forming tethered archways overhead 

Nestled within a wider cromlech 

Her mind is warped in deeper dread 

Cast adrift enclosed in cotton

Purity above weeds rotten

She hallucinates a chrysalis

Albicant from the seething depths 

Her exhale now a frosty mist

Marked out still by peristalith 

Elusory below the depths

softer skin and rosen cheeks

drain as crisp cold water seeps

above her hair which weaves like snakes 

Splayed out in a graven trench

As her eyes capture  their last 

The forest drains to bleak filemot 

scouring the bank a marching chill

her serene appearance left to rot

Petrichor emanating slow 

Pale flesh illuminated in the mist

Immortally frozen as she stares ahead

Absolutory in deaths embrace

Reviews

[Thomas Skahill]

I like the poem but I think it comes across as pedantic. I'm working on my masters in english and graduated my ba with honors and I still had trouble with a few words. Overall though I think it's a great poem, I just also get the feeling like some places are forced after finding the word in a thesaurus or in a need to show off ability. If your going to use obscure words then I suggest it should reflect the poem. My favorite part is the hair in the water like snakes because to me it gives the impression of Medusa, and for Ophelia to turn men to stone with her gaze has an interesting effect on imagining the reception of Ophelia's death for both Laertes and Hamlet.

[Wraith.]

Experimentation is a part of expression and perhaps not all poems are set to flow. I'm not always concerned about the audience reading it, I write it as a place to store my own thoughts. You see many of my poems are unfinished or titled loosely. I think you've misinterpreted me if you think I am using 'obscure' words to make myself seem more intellectual. I just put what I feel fits, even if it won't make immediate sense to you. Needless to say thanks for the review...

[Thomas Skahill]

Don't get me wrong, I thoroughly enjoyed it. I know it's a misinterpretation but it's one I've heard about my own poems after reading them in various circles so I figured I'd share it with you just so that your aware of what some audiences will think. But this clearly doesn't matter to you haha.

[Wraith.]

I don't think this is my best poem anyway, just a new style I was taking on, I much prefer older ones I've written. But I see... I'm often so absorbed in whats going on in life what I come out with is often unrefined. I didn't take the route of further studying English and delved into arts so I appreciate your input. If I critiqued myself I'd end up deleting everything haha!

[Thomas Skahill]

I wouldn't say it's unrefined, the words feel like they were placed there for a reason. Don't critique yourself too harshly haha, much like a painting a poem tells you when it's done.

[Wraith.]

The irony of the fact I usually paint great pictures and then ruin them by adding to them unnecessarily. I guess I struggle to find the balance. :p

[Thomas Skahill]

hahahaa such is life

[Sami Khalil]

Masterfully written. Bravo................

[ANM]

Very well written embodies the spirit of Ophelia!