The One Thing

Something old but until I find or finish some of the new stuff I thought I'd add some old stuff so my page wouldn't look so empty.

You are the one thing that drives me insane
but also the one thing that brings me back from it.

You are the one thing that pulls me in all
directions to tear me apart
but also the one thing that holds me together.

You are the one thing that I would die for
but also the one thing that I'm living for.

Since you are taken you are the one thing
I hate to see
but also the one thing I love to be with.

Since you are taken you are the one thing
that hurts and tortures my heart
but also the one thing that ever brings joy to it.

You are the one thing that is missing in my life
but also the one thing that completes it.

Author's Note

Honest and constructive comments wanted.

Reviews

[Flo_writer]

I like this, although probable not the format I would use. But I feel the passion and a sense of insanity here. It seems like the "one thing" as you put it is the yin/yen of this conflicted person. As I read on a felt the character had a conflict that would eventually lead him to be distraught.

[DiggeyEleven]

You have to find a cadence that you can work with. Some poems are simple, sounding like a simple story and nothing more but if you are trying to create a flow try to listen to it aloud more closely and see if you can find something that can match the rhythm of your thoughts. For example:

"You are the one thing that pulls me in all
directions to tear me apart
but also the one thing that holds me together."

If you are going with the flow of the first section this may have sounded a bit better:

"You are the one that rips me apart
But also the one that hold me together"

A peak in the beginning, and drop at the end to show the love you feel for this person that drives you mad. Try to read it one more time, the subject matter is good, the passion is there, revise it and post it again for more to read and enjoy.