Loose

Put in some effort, people!

Here in my hand I have my heart
With fingers slightly apart,
Everyone sees the outside,
But they think I am trying to hide,
I allow them to pry my fingers open,
But they do not even peer in,
The information stays in the dark;
On my hands, there is barely a mark,
I offer my loosened hand to them,
But they do not think it is a gem.
"Do they think it is solid?"
I ask, looking at the loose lid,
There has to be someone willing to enter,
But will they try to reach the center?

Author's Note

Tell me what you think. I am not much for poetry, but I do try it now and then.

Reviews

[A POET WITH A MUSE]

I really like this poem, the rhyme scheme is fantastic and the message isn't lost inside them but instead carries it better. My FAV lines are the last two
"There has to be someone willing to enter,
but will they try to reach the centre?"
I believe you have talent 8D

[Zap-the-awesome]

Will they put time and effort to see who you are truly? I've asked this question. Great work!

[Allison]

Thank you!!

[PurpleQuartz]

A poem woven with excellent skill! Brilliant write!

[Allison]

Thank you so much!!! ^^

[The Nude Writer]

I think you did a really good job :) a very good idea :)

[Allison]

Thank you!!! ^^

[Adam Lebzo -RonninWarri..]

I really like
A wonderful try
keep it up

[Allison]

Thank you very much!! :D

[Adam Lebzo -RonninWarrior-]

thank you for writing!

[Meliss@k]

I can relate! I seriously wrote a poem Soo similar to this!! It's either called "fragile" or "my heart"... Can't remember. So good though. I enjoyed this poem of yours.

[Allison]

Thank You!!! ^^

[Eagle Cruagh]

Awww ! You offer your heart in an
open hand, but people see only a lump.
You would like people to see inside, to where
lies the gold and silver of life untouched and
offered in generosity, with grace.
----- Eagle Cruagh

[Allison]

I love how you worded that! And thank you for the review!! ^^

[Vee Cole]

Very well written you should most def write more poems this is great!

[Allison]

Thanks!! ^^

[Lydia]

It's really well done, and quite amazing. If I hadn't read your author's note then I would never have guessed that you didn't write poetry often.

[Lucien Maier]

nice flow

[Teenage Romeo]

your hearts a lock that needs a key,who? we'll just wait and see ;D