Sanity's Mask Broke-By:Akeen V.

Such a strange feeling has overcome me today.

My heart pumps and beats in such a different way.

The clouds and the sun are in their same place.

If this feeling not for the day;

Then why a new look upon my face?

I awoke this morning in my normal way.

I took my walk through the normal place.

After my walk I headed home to stay.

I walked in upon a strangers face. 

Anger arose inside me in such an odd way. 

My heart pumped as if I had ran in a race. 

I went to where the stranger lay.

Then grabbed a pillow and covered his face.

He laid still in a peaceful way,

While the air from his lungs left this place.

The feeling of murder has overcome me today.

Reviews

[Blossom]

Wow... that was extremely different, I loved the flow and all and it was truly a well written piece but the ending.... it was somewhat unexpected but it tied well into the poem and the flow of it. what I don't seem to understand is the title of the poem, I understand the hate and the sudden urge to kill, which was portrayed wvery well into the poem, but the sudden break in sanity seemed very unexpected. overall, I liked this a lot. it has great neatness to it and it seems very different from the others that you have written, I would love to read more work from you.

[kuru]

nice flow and rhythm...something different

[NCPanthersgurl]

Interestingly enough I hadn't expected you to go where you went with that story. The end has a strong feeling of passion to it...this poem is a great expression of emotion.

[B MacGregor]

Child... I know exactly what you're talking about!

Mmm hmmm. Amen.

[Marie Harrison]

Spooky? I'm not telling you where I live! Great poem.

[Thurston]

This is such a step up I'm suspicious! Did you write this, my friend? If you did, you're learning fast. This poem has such strength, and such neatness of thought and expression either you have good days and bad days, or this was written after doing some pretty intensive study of your poets.
Now it weakens near the end, and although the last line is a stunner, you've mishmashed to get there.
Go through this poem with a cutting tool. Underline where you weakened and cut it out. Root it out. You're close to being a poet.

[SenoritaAriii<3]

This one was really good, and the ending was pretty suprising. Great ryhme scheme!!!

[I Am Svetlana]

I really loved the imagery this way. I've woken up strangely some days and have felt as if I was walking or talking or even thinking a different kind of way. But the ending is what gave this poem the wonderful finale.

[shmarol]

It’s almost as if you are dreaming and see yourself as another and decide to let go of who you were. Very well written.

[roarke]

Your rhyme did not get in the way of the prose. I get the impression this wasn't a murder, but a shedding of one perspective of life for another.
The path of your poem was steady and clear and easy to read and react to. Very well done.