[untitled]

            I watch the news when I want to be lied to.

            I go to school when I want to be lied to.

            I talk to myself when I want to be lied to.

 

            I can’t get my head on straight. Have you ever had that feeling? Given too much time to myself to sit and think this mood develops. This melancholic, depressive, oh so “tortured” and “intellectual” frame of mind develops. We all feel this way, whether or not your mood is painted in the same colors as mine.

            I’m not paranoid, really. I’m just realistic.

            And thusly you have entered the ramblings of a confused adolescent mind. Perhaps if we take the pieces you have, and the pieces I have, and the pieces that that guy has, we can assemble the entire picture. Something tells me that we’re going to need more than three people to do this. The Wikipedia of the torment of our souls, anyone can edit anything they want in.

             I’ve had enough of this, and I’m sure you have too. “Expectations” is the buzz word I’m going with here. Too many. From ourselves. Others. Others expectations becoming our own. I try to put myself above it all, but that just makes it worse.

            What do we really want? What does anyone want? We’ve been working on solving the mysteries of the universe for how long now? Any bets as to when we’ll finally crack the code?

            This is why I like sleep. You shut off, and the part of you that doesn’t shut off is infinitely more pleasing to engage in than the part that does. When it’s functioning, that is. Are you following me on this one?

            I think too much, that much is certain. Why oh why can’t I be an idiot? I’m no genius. But why was I not blessed with the simple minded ignorance of a moron? Cruel fate hath conspired against me.

            This is just the breaking point. It all spills out now. Next comes temporary relief. It’s really just a time to re-harvest all of the lost neurosis. If you promise me one thing, do you promise not to finish reading this? I can’t stand to have you follow this to the end. It’s not worth it for you, you shouldn’t be wasting your time like this. It’s simply what I need to do.

            And it just happens again and again and again and again and again and are you really still reading this? Careful, you’re getting close to the end. You did promise not to read all the way to the end, right? Please tell me that you did.

            Chances are you’re lying to me no matter what.

            This is the end. If you’ve read this, you’ve probably broken your promise. Figures, liar.

 

          Sincerely,

                      Eva Longoria