You've got God

You've got God Is a new poem Written by Aldo Kraas

 

You’ve got God

That made you

Many years ago

With his holy hands

And had placed you to live

On earth

With my father’s children

You are the oldest child

Of mine

I am so happy to

That You love living on

Earth

You life every single day

You love my  younger children

And also my younger children

Loves you

I am very happy children

That you just get along with

Each other

Yes  my young children

Are finally teenager

Also they love being a teenager

I give my children freedom

To do the things they like doing

At night the children go to bed early

Because they need to get a proper

Sleep

Also when they sleep

They never get up in the middle of the night

 

Reviews

[JayG]

• You’ve got God

So...that was you peeking through my window, and watching take him out of the box?

• You are the oldest child Of mine

Daddy? you're back from the grave?

Seriously, what's in it for the reader when you,someone unknown, are talking to someone unknown, about things not relevant to that reader? Unless you make your words meaningful to each reader, and make that reader WANT more, why would they stay with you for more than a line or two? The trick is to involve the reader, not just talk to them.

You need to use the tricks of poetry that have been developed over the years. Stanzas are like paragraphs. They help the reader know when a new thought is being introduced. And if you're going to write poetry, Be Poetic. Learn what prosody is, and how to make it work for you, because your sincerity, your intent, and the things driving you to speak, never make it to the page. And what, other than the words you supply—and the meaning they suggest to a given reader, based on THEIR life—does the reader have?