Broken

Haiku - Maiden attempt, tried to stick to the rules. the 5-7-5 syllable, unrhymed and pertaining to nature. Deals with a broken heart. the plant signifies Love as it grows /river, the ups and downs of love Oasis, everything you wished for but neve

Broken


I am just a seed
Nurtured with care, I blossomed.
And then you chopped me.

A flowing river.
Through hills, swamps, valleys and trees.
And now I am dry.

Oasis for resting.
Ev'rything I thirsted for.
Now the sands claims it.

A spider spins web.
To capture a lonely prey.
The hunter lonely.

The flame burns within.
It's embrace excites, glows. Now
It just irritates.

The Dawn Beckons. Its
Silvery rays pushed to red
Dusk. Bright Day killed young.

Author's Note

an old poem restored

Reviews

[Audrie]

I must say that this portrays elegant choices and uplifting examples of how we are all connected in our universe. It then quietly tiptoes into how we are all vulnerable- even in our connection. I think that the possible key is to not be afraid of death. Instead, we must believe that it carries our souls to a more peaceful and aware existence. lovely piece. peace, balance and harmony

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

A great haiku string. Congrats on your win

[beefjerky]

this poem reminds me of alot of memories... i like your idea of this, i also think that this poem is VERY deep in thought... good work!

[Stella]

A really good haiku. Very well written. Good words. Keep it up! :)

[Yaooooooo]

Is interesting how you paint the image in this poem. I also like how you try to stick to your 5-7-5 rule, I personally dont have a rule because i feel like sometimes it takes away more than it ads to the poem. I free lance, im a free soul and i write the words that come from my heart,
thanks for sharing and keep it up hope to read more in the future....
One!

[Chloe..Across the Unive..]

Hello Intrigue this may not be a haiku but it sure is beautiful..
Looks like you have six haikus that all relate..
Broken hearts hurt glad you wrote about it because that helps healing.

Chloe
xoxo

[Ice Queen of the Vampir..]

Wow, this is beautiful.

[Ruby Moon]

i have no idea what is going on but i think i got that it deals with a broken heart before reading the description...
that must mean something is right...right?
i can never get haiku...
shrughs...as long as it is nice...
somehow everything seems jumble...maybe its just me

[Alexzan Marie]

This is beautiful..visually and eloquently. Great piece.

[Jordanfan]

great job you should publish it