I knew the man before the monster

Thoughts

To know despair

is to have once had the purest kind of love

born of innocence and trust so rare

only children are thought reminiscent of

My father was a man I once idolized

he was my mentor, my best friend, my confidant

someone I looked first to when wandering unadvised

a caretaker who held me on his shoulders whenever I want

I loved him with everything in me 

because he sheltered and protected me 

he was the one who made me feel so free

no matter anyone else's opinion of me

Then came the day when my love wasn't enough

a night when my father came back smashed

"fired," he said in a voice never so rough

too late I realized he was trashed

these days I cannot tell you what he did to me to hurt me so bad

a memory blocked from my mind so deeply

that all that remains is these feelings that make me so mad

because I was fourteen years old when I lost my Dad

Six years of trauma I worked to overcome

the loss of my childhood before I finally buried his body

and there are days I wonder how many people knew

that my love had never been enough for him

There are some wounds that never fully heal

and few memories that time can steal

Author's Note

does anyone know why my line indents aren't showing up properly when I publish my poetry?