Alone

I suck at poetry so be critical.

Saying what you'd rather shout,
Would have its repercussions without a doubt.
But she didn't expect to feel this hollow.
For weeks she felt bitter, now she feels sorrow.
Even if she's near, she's not one of them.
Should have given up instead of trying to pretend,
That it all was fine and they were all friends.

Now she's alone in a world of words,
Where nothing can hurt her and no one is heard.
She always said that's where she'd rather be,
alone in her room crafting feelings of misery.
She give anything to take it back,
Every insult and each attack.

It started with a boy, then it got worse.
Even saying it now, her voice goes hoarse.
By losing the people who got her the most,
The words of solitude pour from her throat,
Onto the page, the misery she wrote,
Now belonged to her.

She called on the page for comfort.
It took more effort to hit these keys,
than it would have to type apologies.
Yet she made herself write this poem.
Thinking maybe it might show them,
How she feels now and how she felt then.
But it might not matter, we're all alone in the end.


 

Reviews

[Sasha]

Usually when people pray for mercy, it's because they suck. :P I won't be critical though, because I don't see any need for it. This is a great poem. I enjoyed the rhyme and could relate to this young woman so much (especially in the first stanza) that it creeped me out a bit. Everything you said is true, sensible and eloquent. Great job. :)

[tennisgrl18]

This is a great poem and it almost sounded like a rap or song when I was reading it. I definitely related to every word.

[Sweet_pale_cacophony]

ah i feel for you....more so cause when i read i could relate ever so deeply with your words...i felt i was the one you were talking about...i am not saying this at the risk of ego and pompous thoughts...but i really do relate to what you say.
your poem is very well structured and there is lot of transparency to the theme which is very good to me cause it shows how genuine and warm your feelings are.

[Sam Cambell]

Really deep...it makes me feel...well, remember really, my friend, and all the things I wish I'd said to her today...but keep your chin up. Chin up, but with the mouth definately shut. Sometimes people mistake honesty for insult. And know that there is no one out there who doesn't feel alone in some way or another... You've got to know that it's all in your head. I mean I don't know you or anything, but...just know there are people that love you right under your nose. You haven't lost anyone. I promisse.

[StaRsmacK]

I think this is a familiar story to many people. How beautifully you were able to articulate it, and with the graceful flow of water. Well done my dear.

[Kasey Jones]

......I can kinda relate to this.

[Arien Bleuefire]

ok, You are an amazing poet!!

[lover of Sirius]

WOW!

[Rosalyn Marie]

what happened??? :( FB message me if u need to talk...
well i sorta know what happened but anytihn like when i wasnt there....