Father?

Produced by literature class...

 

Father, I can’t see you,

You’ve gone to die alone,

Begging for a different life,

I’ll never reap what you’ve sown.

 

Father, why you yelling now?

Cursing under your breath,

Shoving me aside like filth,

Rage beating in your chest.

 

Father, where you going now?

Stepping through the door,

Taking all that’s mine with you,

Leaving with abhor.

 

Father, won’t you listen?

You left me here alone,

Wanting what you used to be,

Father, come back home.

 

Father, do you miss me now?

I watch old pictures fade away,

Grasping tight to every memory,

Every bright and happy day.

 

Father, can you hear me?

No, you’re trapped inside your head,

You’re wishing you hadn’t chosen this life,

You’re wishing you were dead.

 

Father, where have you to turn?

I don’t need you anymore,

I’ve  learned without your presence,

I’ve spread my wings to soar.

 

Father, why you crying?

Remember you left me in the dark,

You abandoned I who loved you,

Now on this lone journey you embark.

 

Father, won’t you forgive yourself?

Please just let me in,

Your eyes are red, bleeding out,

In denial of your sin.

 

Father, don’t you know you’re dying?

You refuse my hand reaching out,

Trapped inside the cynicism,

Of a dark and hanging cloud.

 

Father, don’t let go, you hear?

I see a smile in your eyes,

Remember the day you laughed with me,

Remember when you smiled?

 

Father, how you faring now?

I see you living in a shell,

Though you count the ways you’ve loved,

You know you’re still in hell.

 

Father, I can’t see you,

You’ve gone to die alone,

Begging for a different life,

I’ll never reap what you’ve sown.

Author's Note

Another changed point of view...I know the grammar isn't exactly "correct" but it would interrupt the flow if I made it proper :D

Reviews

[AndyJCash]

I think the incorrect grammar in places, as you said, suits the flow better so no criticism there. It's a good poem, the life of a Father regretting walking out. I know many people who have gone through this sort of thing and you've done a good job of capturing that emotion between lust for the father's return and hatred (maybe a bit strong) at him leaving in the first place. A good write, nice one!

[00000000000000000000000..]

Wow that one put me in a memory,You would make a great song writer I have already seen that within this second poem. I love your work:) Thank you for sharing with:)

[Jaco (Jaik Miller)]

sigh...kinda wish i couldn't relate to this. But it is an excellent poem because it stimulated an emotion within (me) the reader. very good aleeeeeeeeeyah.

[Tom Chan]

i like how you keep on asking the Father questions...it shows innocence and curiousity..it's really touching. Great write :)

[~Blue Fantasy~]

Heart felt emotions...brought tears to my eyes! Great Write!!

[iron_rose]

Amazing! Very good choice of words. The words are simple, easy to grasp, and they really hit the spot! Don't worry about the grammar inconsistency, it just adds to the creativity of the poem. It gives it a bigger sense of freedom in your style. Good job!

[Luke Ritta]

good poem.........good work.

[Jess Holden]

awesome :D everytime you wrote "father why you..." i imagined the WHY U NO guy xD but a wonderful piece full of emotion

[SoulCrusader (Yas)]

An exquisite piece questioning the beliefs and probing for answers, yet having an understanding that is deeper, great :)

[Tkess]

I think Kenny mentioned this, the poem could be taken as a literal father or father figure, or someone questioning their faith in god. Either way interesting write.

[AnnaMariaQQss]

I love this...You may want to (if I may suggest) adding the word " Are" for example, Father, why " are " you crying? In several places to make this flow better.

other than that, you've rocked this awesome write. AnnaMaria