Disguise

Though I look to the skies

And see nothing but despise

Raining down upon my demise

I call, I sing, I rise

Yes, I will give death a surprise

I will push, pull snap her vise

Yes, I will make her think twice

Perhaps I am not as calm, nice

No, I can show you I am bigger than my size

I have hit lowest lows, but this is my highest high

No, I will not sob nor cry

I will pull apart this bow and make a tie

It will be a promise to sigh

And see past your guise

To shoo away these hungry flies

But then I will make truths of my lies

And I will realize

These snarling skies

Will rain upon my demise

Yes, they will despise me

And disallow me to rise

But it's not much of a surprise

I've always been small for my size

I've always been calm, nice

So now I will sigh

Drowning in my own disguise

Reviews

[Tunder]

I can totally relate to this. I love the single line, "But then I will make truths of my lies.", but my favorite is, "I will pull apart this bow and make a tie" because it shows practicality almost, over beauty. I love how every line rhymes and the rhythm is incredible! Very impresses 100/100

[AleyshaRosa]

Thank you so much, Tunder =]

My own personal challenge not to drop the rhyme scheme =] I suppose I succeeded.

[Emberlorna]

I loved this :} It flowed so well and the impact of the ending lines were very gripping and powerful.

[AleyshaRosa]

Thanks, Emberlorna for the review =]

[Faffy]

what terrific rhyme! though it does become a bit repetitive but its still awesome nevertheless. i like how its starts of quite happy and "young" i say young because some of the lines in the first stanza remind of things little kids say like " I can show you I am bigger than my size" and i like that a lot =). that happy feel begins to fade in the second stanza and the turning point that lone line "But then I will make truths of my lies" was fantastic i loved that moment where the persona finds the truth about themselves. im rambling on and not making a lot of sense =P but bottom line is i liked but i always like your stuff=).

great read!

-Roshan

[AleyshaRosa]

I actually quite enjoy your ramblings =P
Thanks for the great review. I wrote half in the beginning of what seemed to be an awesome day, and wrote the other half after work. Haha, goes to show how much an entire day can change your attitude.
Again, as always, thanks, Roshan =]

[Dark Butterfly]

nice job! great rhyming (i suck at making things rhyme, so i simply stopped trying) and great message, its both optimistic and straightforward about disappiontment in life
100/100
:)

[AleyshaRosa]

Thanks so much, DB =]
I really appreciate the review

[X]

Really like what you did with the two stanzas. Awesome contrast, though a bit pessimistic! I usually do the opposite in my poems or songs- start meek, and down, then finish strong, and rise. Good stuff either way!

[AleyshaRosa]

You know, when I was writing, I finished the first stanza and it almost felt wrong to be so optimistic, when we all know the truth: we only wish the world were that easy, and we were that strong.
I think one of my poems does exactly what you just described. Have a glance at "truth" =]
Thanks, V

[X]

I feel that the world is what we make it, if we want it to bend, we make it bend to us, if we want it to turn, we make it to turn to us. We cannot change the world as a whole, just how we are in the world, and how it reacts to us.
V

[AleyshaRosa]

So incredibly true...
Although, would immeasurably high walls blocking our next step be considered to be "the world is a hard place" or simply us "making mountains out of concaves"?

[X]

Everybody makes their own mountains. It is their choice whether to climb them, go around, or give up. Immeasurable is not something that I, nor you, should adhere to.

V

[AleyshaRosa]

I like that thought

[X]

Then put it to action. That's what thoughts, and ideas, are for.

[RachelReaper]

This reminded me of a rap song, and one I would actually listen to. A fast paced song that was about never giving up and never falling down. This was inspiring.

[AleyshaRosa]

Haha, no kidding, I was actually listening to rap while writing this =P
Thanks, Rachel =]

[RachelReaper]

coolio :)