Windows Down

    There's a window down somewhere

in this town I know it

    There's a drakness

thoroughly

lit

    There is a breath of night air

with street light texture

    There's a raucus

dangerous

cure

    Somewhere someone's singing asonorously

    to life at the top of their lungs

    and I love it.

Reviews

[Sam Cambell]

Amazing. I don't know if this is what you meant when you wrote it, but to me this is a great antidepressant. It shows our emotions in the moments when we feel happy and start to really think about the world around us. It's got a somewhere-out-there feeling attached to it that I love. I think you've really managed to capture, in a few spare lines, the sense of connection we can sometimes feel to the world around us. I love the phrase "raucus dangerous cure." I don't actually know why, but I loved it. A good write.

[Gheeneil]

To me this appears to be dark and it seems like the persona welcomes the new "discovery". I still think there's more to it. Keep writing.

[New]

Oh, this is good! I like the way you positioned the poem, and the rhyme scheme! Keep at it, because you've got something there!