Requiem for a scream

I've never used to write down glorified and symmetrical observations about the great loss of obstacles.

My smoked viscera did it instead. 

I may not fear the taste of this loss but I may struggle with the absinthe that they fed me with before I even recognized my own reflection.

You may look  at me with an open pharynx while the canones of acrimony chase me from one scene to another with a  great breeze of damping fluctuations.

Although all I see is a gazing reflector following my steps to the stairs that are taking every footprint away from me.

All I hear is the echo of an oblivious avenger with hebetate veins of 

charismatic unreason. 

All I feel is the paralyzed letter under my glotiss that may never build a paragraph in this sheltered novel of twisted twists.

Reviews

[Chris]

Interesting word order and choice..."charsimatic" was thought-full.

[Jeannette Lunete]

Thanks for reading and reviewing Chris. I appreciate it. :)

[Coyote Poetry]

I enjoyed the use of the language. The story had to be read again.The words made me feel reflection and thoughts. I did like you how led to the very good closure. Thank you for sharing the excellent story.
Coyote

[Jeannette Lunete]

Thanks a lot Coyote for these kind words. I'm glad that you enjoyed it. I appreciate it a lot. :)

[Coyote Poetry]

You are welcome.

[jacob erin-cilberto]

nice vocabulary...extensive and charismatic in wording...life is a novel of twisted twists...

you remind me of Hemmingway in your brevity...but Hawthorne in your wording...a nice mix...
"my smoked viscera did it instead"

bravo on that line, especially.

jacob

[Jeannette Lunete]

Thanks a lot Jacob. I'm humbled by this comparsion. I mean, I'm just at my very beginning, so it's quite magnificent to receive that amount of encouragement. It means a lot to me. :)

[Alan B.]

What powerful images this piece evokes. I see the horrified scream of the collective in the presence of the individual that escapes them and is struggling to define his existence after being erased from memory. Luminous writing, Jeannette.

[Jeannette Lunete]

Thanks for this interesting interpretation Alan. I'm glad that you enjoyed it. It means a lot to me. :)

[Alan B.]

You're welcome ;)

[willweb]

Jeannette, that was wonderful. So much can be read into this piece. "Although all I see is a gazing reflector following my steps to the stairs that are taking every footprint away from me." Wow, I love that line. I know I have pulled it out of context, but that line could be an entire story in itself. I really enjoyed this.

[Jeannette Lunete]

Thanks for the positive feedback. I'm glad that you enjoyed it. It means a lot to me :)

[Stanley Wilson]

what an interesting piece of work. Dark and deep. Really very well penned.

[Jeannette Lunete]

Thank you very much for reading and reviewing. I appreciate it a lot. :)

[Justin]

that was really good :) it tells a great story in short form :)

[Jeannette Lunete]

Thanks for reading and reviewing Justin. I appreciate it a lot. :)

[Justin]

your welcome jeannette, it was really great, cant wait to read more of your material :)

[Rene Salinas]

Well, I am a fan Jeanette , one step away from pom - poms and short skirts and give me a J ...... .

The starting line came to me as a recognition of pride and arrogance creeping in as if the enjoyement of drama was been upheld and now is available for everyone while before it was just you. So the continuing comes again in terms of knowing that whatever the journey you seem to start to find yourself in a organic form. You still find the challenges and obstacles inricate enough to realize that the realazation of understanding means very little becuase you may only move a few steps to get stuck again.

It is always an effort.

Thankyou

[Jeannette Lunete]

Thanks a lot Rene for this outstanding interpretation. You've put the puzzle perfect together. It's quite a honor for me that you always take time to read about my little disasters. :)

[Rene Salinas]

Maybe then you should consider what happens in a still lake when you drop one tiny drop into it as the ripples expand that's what happens to me when I read your writing in myself is not so little anymore. Thankyou

[Zakari Schmidt]

Damn, this gave me such chills. The imagery you used was so fluid, carrying along with such clever words and fresh ideas. I'm a big fan of this little story and I look forward to reading more of your work. This is hard for me to describe..the thing about it is the way it was written. So intelligently done, worth many reads

[Jeannette Lunete]

Thanks a lot Zachary for this great encouragement
I'm glad that you enjoyed it. I appreciate it a lot. :)