This Ice

There is none.

My hands cold and stiff.
My breath ice and mist.
This sense a gift.
I can see.
My heart cold and dry.
An ember smoldering fried.
An empty question why.
I am alive.
My soul cold and lost.
Bound by the darkened frost.
This ice is a solid cold wall.
Rejecting all.
My love cold but gentle and open.
Torn at the seams silent and unspoken.
Trusting until broken.
A worthless token.

Reviews

[Holly]

I wanted to change my review because I read it again and decided it made me sad. Somebody once told me that writing
poetry was about packing the most meaning in the fewest words. I hear so much suffering in that little poem. For your sake, I hope what you were saying was just the intense feelings brought on by allot of emotion or lack thereof in a fleeting moment of pain.

[deeps]

I really enjoyed this write here. I can feel the emotion in this one. Very well written, love the rhyme scheme. You are talented!

[Emily]

I like this piece. It doesn't give away the whole poem in the first few lines, it forces the reader to continue reading to see what really developes. I rather enjoyed how it flowed from body to 'love' and bascially internal soul through the peice. It changed so easily with such great flow that I did not see it coming.
I find it interesting that every ending word is cold, dark, or in say was an imagination of those words except for "fried". I feel it is a little out of place because you're talking about an "Ember smouldering" that doesn't bring to mind frying after you begin with "Cold, stiff, ice, mist" Fried takes away from the cold aspects of the piece you're writing.

Just a thought.
Wonderful and powerful last four lines, you did a really great job of capturing an imagery that your readers can identify with!

Very nice write! I look forward to reading more.

[lakaka]

The image this poem brought to my mind was dark... but it had something... I like it... :)