Tug of Love not War

Another personal one. I speak from experience.

At first, I think.

On the brink of suicide
and torture pulls my arms from both sides
like a Tug of War I am torn between two worlds

drawing a line and willing me to die
Six feet under, buried with a lie

Choose a side.
The wrong one and
forever we're done.


The unbearable penetration
I recall
was searing my insides.
His face pinched, as my family
cheered on the sidelines.
I bleed, and they congratulate
my temporary
yet permanent suffering

But now my mind is buffering...
....
...
..
I recall, even
the salty, womanly taste
upon my tongue never wasted
Like a pearl resting in the comfort
of a spell that can never be broken
That girl was smokin'.


My fingers inside her warm, wet
pulsating, quivering love
and her hands
grasp bundles, my hair
the rightful acts
of a sensual affair
 
My family carrying torches and my
happiness raining down
put out the flames of their disappointment.

Nineteen years now, and with
a soul that sags with age
creases with vast experience and sin 

And coated in the dust of background transations
it cleanses itself in the presence of women