Bloody red

“It’s ok, you are home now”

You kept repeating that

But I remember my hand somehow 

And my blood that was red

So pretty birds,

So lovely sun

The person who doesn’t know words

The person who forgot how to run

My head hurts so much now

It’s all the noises that I hear

I see a corpse of cow

And I remember a lovely tear

I feel so useless 

So unsafe

I don’t see cuteness 

In that little waif

Why am I here

What’s my purpose in this life

I don’t want to be anywhere near 

Any kind of harmful knives 

I got through so much stuff 

And still I’m feeling worse

When is it gonna be enough

For me to get rid of this curse?

I just want to be home

With people that I love

But I’m surrounded by same loam

And put in closet with a shove

The glass on the floor 

And mess in front of me 

I’m trying to ignore 

And set myself free

Author's Note

Tw: self harm, mental illness