Moon

I'm not really much of a poem writer, but I wrote this in the car on a trip away from home.

Moon.

White and round.

Way high, above the ground.

I sit and stare at the view,

Wondering if you are looking too.

 

They say it's a mirror,

To your true love's heart.

So, if you happen to look up at the sky,

And I casually cross your mind

Remember the love I feel for you.

And I'll be waiting right here for you.

Author's Note

Comments would be great! I'd love to hear them. Hope you enjoy it.

Reviews

[WilliamAllen]

I would love to see a sequel or second side titled sun. I really liked this poem, nice and sweet. It reminds me the song by P!ATD which is eluding me right now, but that's beside the point. I really liked this poem, but the only thing that urks me a bit what the second part is aimed at. Other than that I like it a lot, kudos for you for writing this in a car ride.

[Amber_A]

Thanks! It was night time and I was looking at the moon and it just came to me!
What is it about the second part that irks you? I'm always looking for ways to improve my writing.

[Amber_A]

A product of my apparent boredom, a sequel cleverly titled Sun has been posted.

[Rahul]

wow, what a great write, i love starring nights too because this's what or where i feel myself relax under a sky....nice write, you got it.
i'd love to read more about it if you continue this piece.100/100

[Amber_A]

Thank you! Glad you enjoyed it!
I too enjoy starry nights. Being out under the stars is a wonderful place, especially when you can see them all!

[ANTO]

You are so right up my street. I love this. Who hasn't looked up at the sky and wondered thoughts like this? 'Casually cross your mind" is such a throw-a-way line that it is a yearn of the soul wrapped up in throw-a-way packaging IMHO.
I am quickly becoming a fan.

[Amber_A]

Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

[Meallea Pomorette]

Kind of sweet actually... This one reminds me of The Moon Embracing the Sun and Nurarihyon no Mago... But I kind of sense that the person narrating kind of died because of the line "Remember the love I feel for you. And I'll be waiting right here for you." It's just a guess... People have different point of views and in literature, your view is not wrong because that's the way you understand it... I just have a thing in tragedy though... Anyway the poem is nice so keep it up...

[Amber_A]

Thanks. :) The death thing is actually a really creative way to look at it, but I was more or less going for a long distance relationship kind of thing.

[Amber_A]

If you want a tragedy though, one of my other works "Just a Dream" that is a bit of a tragedy.

[Meallea Pomorette]

I'll check it out...
(^_^)