Dead Cold

I fly on a chariot
Horses winged in flight
Cloud cushions
Dying light
The air thining out
My lungs fight
No heaven here
Just a silence white
Cold
Deaf
Blind
Dead
This will be my
Retribution
The earth flies away
Out of sight.

Reviews

[Ms claws]

Dear Sapphus, This makes me think of the one who flew into the sun and his wings melted..his son flew with him also, right?
I like the hopeless tone. It makes readers think and we all need to think.
We are all born and we all will die.
Jesus is the answer to eternal life. Just believe.
As always, your writing is awesome and thought provoking.

[Sapphus]

Yes. I have to agree Glendak. We share the same faith. Thank you.

[Coyote Poetry]

Sometime we seem to flying to hell-bound place. I liked the emotions and the honest words Sapphus. Maybe some of us seek the cold, deaf, blind and dead light over the brightness? Powerful dance of word and thoughts.
Coyote

[Sapphus]

Thank you.

[Ern M. Yoshimoto]

a superb elaboration on the pain involved in dying. we like to think death is just riding high on a chariot led by winged horses, but the truth is that the moment of death is agonising. not something we like to talk about, but it is something we must all undergo, one day. but let it wait.
live long and prosper!

[Sapphus]

Thank you for your review.

[Kelly Scheppers]

So appropriately titled, and brilliantly composed, with succinct lines that engage my senses. Who needs an economy of words?

[Sapphus]

Thank you for your review.

[Lore Keeper]

Vivid and succinct, well done with this piece sapphus. I often have trouble doing longer form poetry with as out of practice as I am, but I do enjoy reading the works of others who’ve kept it up.

[Sapphus]

Thank you for your kind review.

[Thomas W Case]

Vivid and sharp. Great work.

[Sapphus]

Kind of you, Thomas. Thank you.

[DIVYA]

Loved the final line of the poem. An epic moment pictured in the mind as the earth flies away. As if all in heavens moves to make space for her. Great work sir.

[Sapphus]

Thank you Divya

[mou]

Sometimes earth and its course have enough power to give the glimpse of that unknown or infinite. Words are beautifully woven!
- mou

[Sapphus]

Thank you mou.

[mou]

My pleasure

[Kane Hagwood]

Although I'm sure there's deeper meaning, to me, in my mind, I can't help but picture riding on a Pegasus, flying high in the sky. Woohoo, adventure! Wait.... hang on, we're a little high, we should-

Then, like that, you're outta the atmosphere.

But that's just my goofy take on a beautiful poem. Nice, well written work, sir.

[John the Baptist]

Doesn't sound much like those family reunions after death that so many are fond of. Who knows, though, really? If there were such a thing as a near death experience without trauma, I'd definitely sign up for it just to satisfy my curiosity.