Love

shade of red 

no shred of care 

Cracked mirrors 

deserted bed 

unforeseen pain 

ocean of tears 

indelible stains 

killing rain 

hopeless bargain 

forlorn end

Reviews

[Inessa]

Illicit love and the passion and trouble it causes in the aftermath. Passion is fleeting for the most part but the negative effects of such an encounter can linger in the air for much longer. It's a matter of choice in the heat of the moment and dealing with the consequences afterwards. It's an idea that has varying degrees of interpretation, depending on where we reside. It's an interesting theme and one well conveyed with pace and imagery.

[SabrinaM]

The problem with illicit love is that they feel like they can go against the world because they love each other in spite of the illegalities. They believe that love can conquer anything and everything, and that love is enough for two people to be and stay together. Even if others think that those kinds of relationships don’t last they keep believing and indulging and that finally leads to a big fall. Thank you.

[Inessa]

Indeed. As well onveyed by yourself here and in Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet. Star crossed lovers.

[Orange]

When you never love at all, what can I say,,
Stay as so little just like what you know,
read moreWhen you never love at all, what can I say,,
Stay as so little just like what you know,
in here share your negative energy and make more dark energy,.
Guess who's in hell
Are those only believes in the dark

[SabrinaM]

Orange from Australia. Those who never love never feel the human highs and lows that should be felt the single God given lifetime. I don't know about what energy you're talking about but I take it as love is positive and hate is negative. I would like more of your views but in your own comment to this poem. Here you have commented on someone else's comment so I am not getting the context very clearly. So please make your own more detailed comment on this poetry. Thank you.

[Orange]

Sorry no time waste different definitions here, have good day

[SabrinaM]

Thats absolutely not a problem and I am open to comments from you on anything of mine that does match your views. I look forward to reading your poetry too. Thank you.

[Just Kim]

By the lashes of a harsh, killing rain
The sting not a part of the luscious bargain

Really love this part, This is deep and well written

[Akshay Rawal]

I get a hint of the kind of intimacy shared between two people, who fail to develop meaningful connections even after they have gotten so close to each other, described in this poem. Those kind of relationships have different motives, where two consenting adults just chase their own need fulfilment, are probably seeking validation for their actual selves from people beyond their partners, or trying to spark their individual marriages. There's a perceivable emotional void left in people who're just together for the physical aspect, as they can no more differentiate between the love they're giving to various kinds of people.

I liked the poetry, I like the emotions woven between the lines, I felt in harmony with the message here. I could resonate with the feeling as I value emotional connections more than physical ones. Thank you Sabrina for this great piece.

[wordman]

forbidden love always seems to be the ones we chase

[Chris Shaw]

Illicit love runs the gambit of all the emotions, from the heady heights to the sunken lows of guilt. So wonderfully expressed here. Well done.

Chris

[SabrinaM]

Thank you for reading this poetry. I shall refine it more as I go along and this is a learning phase now but great to get the reader's pulse as i write. Thank you.

[Neville]

You do not need to practice writing poetry my friend ... a compelling tale of stolen love .. quite beautiful with rough edges that make it feel real ...

[SabrinaM]

I tried to make it as interesting and ambiguous as I could. I am glad you found beauty in it. Nice to read your poetry too. Thank you.

[Neville]

... you are far more than just welcome my friend ..

[SabrinaM]

I thank you and everyone here. It has been a great discovery, writers cafe.

[Neville]

............................... :)

[jacob erin-cilberto]

damn, this is good...almost like an illicit love affair with the passion of Romeo and Juliet, but with guilt
that kills the conscience.
well done.
j.

[SabrinaM]

We as thinking feeling humans are always caught and cooked finally in the burning cauldron of our own conscience before anyone else can condemn us. We doom ourselves and given time our own actions lead to our end. Thank your for your attention to this writeup.

[John the Baptist]

It appears that the couple in this offering had a fling that turned out badly. I am getting two versions of the speaker's point of view, however. One seems to indicate a belief that sex without love is ultimately unsatisfying. The other comes across as a negative moral judgment against forbidden love. Not sure which is accurate; I prefer the former.

[SabrinaM]

When I write a piece I let the thoughts flow in any and every direction as they take me and the reader also flows with me. So intended efffect of ambiguity has come through just as I wanted it to. There is no one particular way in which such things can go and it remains an open-ended universe. I think you will agree with me. Thank you for your comments and attention to this poetry.

[Delmar Cooper]

The star crossed lovers get all the headlines because their love is the most interesting, salacious, scandalous, provoking, and remarkable. As a society we relish the chance to find fault. This poem attaches no blame or criticism to the condition of these lovers, but merely reports their passion against adversity. Well done . I say.

[SabrinaM]

The society at large, especially my society is quite barbaric to such people and like to sit on judgement and grandly criticise cobdemn and sometimes even kill to preserve their so called honor. Many women have fallen victim to that. So I have consciously refrained from branding the humans caught in this situation here as it could be us tomorrow. To leave it open-ended is the humane thing to do here. Thank you very much for your reading and commenting on this poetry.

[Delmar Cooper]

I was roundly condemned by a female editor for a story I wrote in which a grandfather considered in a moment of pain and despair an "honor" killing of his grand daughter and her racially unsuitable suitor. Writing it I had no thought of the unsuitability of the notion. The story of about 500 words is here "American Money". It requires some knowledge of American history to understand.

[T.S. Ulmus]

This is a beautiful use of the language, every line twists and turns and is ripe with meaning. A masterpiece. I hope you continue to post here because I would very much like to keep reading your work. This piece seems to touch me personally but I guess that's what good art does.

[SabrinaM]

As I have joined newly I am still forming my opinion about this website. I am on two other poetry websites under different monikers. I shall go on posting and reading here if I get my comfort zone here. It's helpful in building up material for prospective publications. So thank you very much for reading and having such nice things to say about my poetry.