Some Dreams

Some dreams 

must be forgotten

as night forgets the day

as light forgets dark

If they came true 

only pain would be yours

let an empty sleep 

bring you joy 

an empty room bring 

you the world.  

Reviews

[Insight "MH"]

This poem is packed with beautiful imagery, I can't really decide on a favorite part. The whole poem is painted with incredible craftsmanship, well done, MH.

[X]

Oh my God I love this so! I wandered every river rode every wave dreamt every dream...So beautifully penned Sabrina what a special gift❤️

[A.H.]

Very well written, Sabrina!
So many ways to describe the dreams, the imagery, metaphors - all very well done.
First few lines and the ending ones were a highlight for me, beautifully put.
"Some rivers yearn to cascade and gush forth
Some wander away, lashing into the wilderness
Some drift to fade as aimless shadows of dusk"

Also I like the structure of the poem,
Lines starting with Some* and the line after.
-it kinda blends in. Nicely done!

Thank you for sharing.

[SabrinaM]

As my writing is still in a formative state, your feedback will be very helpful. Thank you very much.

[Akshay Rawal]

This piece triggers imagination in so many ways, such great metaphors, as you transition into the surreal realm of dreams. On second thoughts, rivers and tributaries which dry up before mingling into a bigger sea represent unfulfilled, abandoned dreams.

You have a knack for verbal imagery of scenic views, and you develop the visual scenery into the reader's mind in recurring phrases, for example, golden dawn and fulgent morn worked together to frame a scenic sunrise in my mind. That's the beauty of this poem, it lets your brain churn wheels of imagination and fabricate beautiful images as they read along. I liked this experience. Kudos.

Looking forward to read more of your stuff. Thanks

Akshay

[SabrinaM]

Thank you very much for pointing out what you felt was special about this poem. This will really help me go forward.

[T.S. Ulmus]

You painted the words with such an eloquent brush. I loved "the aqueous awning of pearls" to describe the breach of a wave. I had to look up "fulgent", though I figured it was from the Latin word for lighting, I appreciate when an artist uses exotic colors. I've been working on a poem in which I use the word "jejune", everyone will probably have to look it up. You created a terrific twisting line of braided metaphors here. Good job. It was pulchritudinous.

[SabrinaM]

Now I will have to look up pulchritudinou and Jejune. Both are new to me. Thank you for appreciating this poem.