"Hey Jackie..."

Today was a long, long day and now an even longer evenin’.  I came back to WC for - something… to find a corner to go round, a wall to lean on, an insight to now and feeling …something.  I read Ed Harts “Ol Man Death” and was commenting when I found tears.  This leaked out but I took it off his page, wasn’t fair to tarnish his gild with my tin - ya know?

 

Fingers been doin my walking

And the words are echoing loud and round

snaps and circumstance

I NEED a cig and it ain’t even sunset yet.

 

And the world’s a meaner place

and all the clichés are real

and here…

 

Damn, I want that cig I can taste right now...

Watchin’ the sun - slowly fall and

not much of anythin’ goin on. 

Neighbor is likely cryin’ right now

was close to it when I left his house...

He was tellin me of 40 yrs and months

and days

and how it wasn't fair

and he couldn't see the papers he was goin' through

as his eyes were lost

in yesterdays.

He told me how he kept his promise -

to BE there and holding -

was THERE at the end,

but she was asking for him anyway

in a lil lost voice.

Damn, I need that cig.

Goodbye lil darlin.

 

Chris

 

Sorry Ed - it just leaked out... sorry.

Author's Note

6/21/2015

Reviews

[barleygirl]

Not sure how to respond to this. Since it doesn't seem to be a typical attempt at writing, but more like an unpolished outpouring, I think it's better to hold it to different standards. I really preferred the first paragraph where you describe your response to a piece of writing -- this is so poignant & honest, I can totally relate. But then the first part of the poem feels a little clunky. Maybe you needed to ramble on a bit before you could reach down to the real depths & bring out the details which bring the piece alive, which is describing how your neighbor evidently lost a longterm beloved -- again, this is where your writing sings with honesty & clarity again.

[Viv Wade]

So sad! Some days are like that, there doesn't seem to be any sunshine in the world, only darkness, and all you can hope for is something you crave that won't do you any good in the end. Your feelings flow from you so freely - it's not always easy to put feelings into words, but you manage it perfectly.

[Junction]

Departure from a place or person we had known possibly for what seemed like a lifetime.
I notice someone who smokes most always needs a cigarette when under stress. Nicotine
is addictive and the stress is overwhelming. Well..... I had to say goodbye to my mom one last and final time. She passed away a few years ago. She is with me in spirit though. I feel her presence.

[jesserose99]

I love the little windows into your mind. This is beautiful as are the many other gems I have read. The world is a meaner place after loss...always..and you can always expect that feeling at some point I guess..lol Really enjoyed the desperation for a cigarette, and that it just leaked out at the end.

[kyam]

It is so sad to see her go. Such depth in your writing, I hope you are published? So meaningful, so rich. Also lots of memories there.....Kyam

[Doreen]

I have no words - they all fall flat.

[Chris]

life catches us sometimes... ya know?

[Doreen]

Boy, do I know.

[Chris]

and today's a Monday...sigh

[Annie Gryphon]

somehow that one had influence on my poem about the night ... "When you got the letter from Fred/ i wished for a cigarette/ What was it he said?/ Guess that's something between you and Fred ..."

I love your poems, Chris, they don't shine as polished diamonds, they are what they are: sometimes pieces thrown to our feet: take them and do whatever you wish. They are open and free and many associations can come or stay away - what does it matter?
And i really love the wildness of that one here, a bit sad, a bit wise, a bit like a walk in a garden someone just forgot to cut the grass because other things were more important.

[Chris]

Annie... I'm glad you came by. You make a difference in the world and touch mine.

[Kenneth The Poet]

A journal entry gone wrong but so right at the same time.

[GreenShoes]

That must have been a long, hard day indeed; 'his eyes were lost in yesterdays' is a great line.

[Chris]

was a reality - more than a line

[GreenShoes]

No, I understand that, but as a piece of poetry, those were nicely-chosen words.

[Neville]

What we have here is another seriously good write folks but don't just take my word for it, come on, suck it and see..............Bravo, you got me feeling all sad again Chris

[Chris]

catch a breath and find your balance then...