"A Meaning of Christmas..."

“A Meaning of Christmas…”

 

It’s been a loooong year and a short one yet again.

Fewer “voices” both inside and out.

“Missing friends…”

Personal tears and “breakings” -

Moments of 11- level pain -

Emotional shatterings …healings…

Finding self and all but giving up.

Silence in all its hurt-full glory.

 

I’m a whiner and a complainer…

I’ve been told, been told by those that KNOW.

It’s wrong to hurt and speak of it.

It’s wrong to tell a person they are hurting you.

…quite for real…

It’s wrong to ask why, or for them to stop, or think

of what they do - to me, to others…

or to do what they say

or are supposed to do…

And DON’T BLAME!!  Don’t be angry …accept, accept

Except - it freaking HURTS …at times, even the SKIN hurts

and behind the eyes midnaught is 24/7…

But

Life happens - still happens

…some escape, some …don’t.

And even cowboys cry - I know. I know…

 

I miss the “pretties” - you know -

Glistening, glimmering, the hope-full music,

All the colors!!

Smiles, the heart-full eyes,

The kids’ laughter, adults laughing,

The enthusiasm! 

The helping just to be helpful - without thought.

 

And yet…

It’s out here - out here …if ya look!

Hell, I reached into MY wallet today just because an older woman ahead of me in checkout didn’t think she had enough to pay for a meager smattering of groceries - but it took time… and she DID…and thanked the clerk for being understanding and waiting patiently for her.  She wished the clerk a Merry Christmas as she turned and slowly moved on her way.  I admit I was paused…

 

And tonight -

 

How often do you LOOK at your “stuff”?

You know the “Stuff” no one else will EVER just want

- But for you there IS meaning.  I’ve a …friend…

- don’t ever use the term lightly -

It’s Christmas - gave the usual “cookies tin” BUT

I paused… I - PAUSED …as I looked over some of MY “STUFF”.

He’s a NASCAR Fanatic…his JOY is seeing on TV, hearing, FEELING

…NASCAR!

I went to a track here in Michigan ONCE.

Bought a Mini Car - #5 - it’s all decked out, in the box, colors, markings -

the perfect memory of a moment, but …yeah, its NASCAR!

To me it’s a moment - but for him?  Damn, I’m tearing up as I wrap it.

It’s Christmas again - took a looong year to bring it back in focus.

 

I’m a whiner and a complainer… don’t be me

 

But …It’s Christmas

And I found it again.

 

Chris

Author's Note

Feel

Reviews

[petec3638]

Yes is has been a looong year and it aint over yet
We lost my best friend > 65 years > collected her ashes yesterday - I want her to go with me to Innominate Tarn on Haystacks and join all the other fell walkers

I liked the bit about the old lady - Yes I look in some of the baskets and wonder - how do they live on what they have there

We were told she had lung cancer - i was dreading her gasping for breath
she told be to leave her &, get on with our lives - They took her 10 miles on permanent blues & tw0s --- she had caught COVID - 3 days & she went peacefully with us by her side - that is all that I wished

NOW we have to get things sorted - and carry on

[Chris]

The above work is real - word by word real, as is your sharing of remembrances and our dealing. You are always welcome here.

[petec3638]

Thank you Chris
It is the sorting out her bits and things > Clothes > some I will keep > they are my size & at 89 Why not wear her clothes if they fit . some nice warm jumpers & coats

[Chris]

It keeps her close ...why not.

[petec3638]

Why not. As if I care what people think and say.
At my age I have had lots of comments > you cant do that > that is not the way to do things - well its done now
Boys from schools like yours cant be electricians - only grammar school boys can do that > I refused to tell them what I was doing (retired as snr lecturer)
That's life

[RomaJ]

I like how raw and honest this poem is. It carries both the weight of pain and the beauty of finding meaning again. I feel the tenderness in the small moments, from helping a stranger to sharing "stuff" with a friend. It’s moving and heartfelt. I know this was written in 2023, and I can confirm it was a tough year for me too, as it was for many others. I genuinely hope the Christmases ahead are gentler and merrier.

[Chris]

"Life is a terminal disease, all the doctors told me so in their own ways. But the hospital staffs didn't have to reinforce those opinions ...over and over."

[Philip Gaber]

This line struck me.

Life happens - still happens
…some escape, some …don’t.
And even cowboys cry - I know. I know…

Don't take things for granted, one of multiple meanings I took away from this... Good work, sir.

[Chris]

"Life as we live it is seldom as we want it."

[FPW]

Christmas has lost its meaning over the years as it has turned into a consumerist benefit. There is still spirit around if you look hard enough, though. Spread a little spirit and share some kindness and the day can recover its true meaning. I am sure your car gift was appreciated for the thoughtfulness behind it.

[Lizzy B]

Funny how expression of truth is rarely appreciated but people claim to hate lies💩😒🤪 Relatable, indeed

[Chris]

We all KNOW - life happens... but when the happening is mean, mean-spirited, bad, hurt-full and fully done by other persons consciously and with intent and NO ONE moves or speaks up in any kind of defense...
There are ways of doing things and necessary human interactions- with compassion, understanding, and care. Empathy is truly lacking in a "me" society.

[Ken Simm.]

Excellent Chris. Your wit of the season is showing.
And seasons greetings to all you and yours.

[Ken e Bujold]

Grand poem my Friend. A true Christmas ode. right up there with the pogues A Fairytale in NY which I am listening to at the moment, saluting the too soon lost SM.

Merry Christmas and best to you and yours

ken

[J.J. NIGHTINGALE]

The Lost and Found grows daily...
No one comes to claim
No sounds no footfalls ..
No one to blame ..
Christmas has changed
No, Maybe it's me
I wish I could see home, again...

Take Care Luv..

[Chris]

You too Jazz.

[MomzillaNC]

These are heartbreaking lines… it's always the ones who keep hurting you who tell you that you need to "just let it go."

Silence in all its hurt-full glory.
I’ve been told, been told by those that KNOW.
It’s wrong to hurt and speak of it.
And DON’T BLAME!! Don’t be angry …accept, accept
I miss the “pretties” - you know -
Glistening, glimmering, the hope-full music,

I was just doing this recently, wondering what my son would find important enough to keep when I am gone. It's all up to him, as all we have will be his. I've begun parting with a few tschotkies I know he won't want to keep, things that I just liked at the time, but have no real meaning to me when I really think about it.

How often do you LOOK at your “stuff”?
You know the “Stuff” no one else will EVER just want
- But for you there IS meaning

It’s Christmas again - took a looong year to bring it back in focus.
But …It’s Christmas
And I found it again.

[Chris]

You understand... "Merry Christmas, Blessed Be."

[MomzillaNC]

I hope your holiday is joyful and full of love.

[Arundass TP]

Beautiful writing. Enjoyed reading 👍