dreaming of dreaming

I SAW YOU, DREAMING,

DREAMING OF DREAMING....

AND I SAW IT BURST!

LIKE A HUGE SHIP, SINKING.....

I FELT YOU, THINKING,

THINKING AND THINKING!

AND I SAW THE CONCLUSION COME,

WHICH BROKE YOU LIKE A MASTERPIECE, RIPPING.....

I SAW THE TEARS, FALLING,

DOWN TO THE GROUND AND STILL FALLING....

I SAW YOU HID IT WITH A MASK,

CALLED 'SMILE' AND KEPT ON SMILING......

Reviews

[Arriam]

You definitely get your point across. However, I don't really think the all-caps and bold and large font are necessary. If you feel so strongly about something, the words alone should be enough, and the formatting sort of derails the reader. But your meaning is very good and genuine.
Thank you for submitting!
Arriam

[Anjali]

Thank you so much.. I'll keep it in mind in future.

[Anshuman Aryav]

Wow...I do not know how you decorate your poem through these words..but whatever you create is beyond any compliment.Last four lines are brilliant and amazing..
I am very pleased that there are talented and devoted poets and writers like you in our country too, and after reading this piece I can say that the future of India is in good and right hands.
Keep writing..
Keep sharing..

[Anjali]

Thank you so much! It means a lot.

[C. Lee Battaglia]

I SAW THE TEARS, FALLING,
DOWN TO THE GROUND AND STILL FALLING....
I SAW YOU HID IT WITH A MASK,
CALLED 'SMILE' AND KEPT ON SMILING......
Such powerful words! It really touched me and I think you have a great writing style!
Keep up the incredible work! You are a very talented writer and I urge you to continue to do so!

Your friend,

C. Lee Battaglia

[Anjali]

Thank you so much! It means a lot..

[C. Lee Battaglia]

You're welcome! :) would you be so kind to check out some of my writing? I would love to hear an honest opinion from such a talented writer.

[Anjali]

Sure, I would love to check out your writings! And I bet you are a talented writer too. 🙂

[C. Lee Battaglia]

Thank you! :) I appreciate it!

[Anjali]

You're welcome!

[Anise]

I found that second stanza to be very powerful. Well done Anjali.

[Anjali]

thank you so much for stopping by

[Anise]

was my pleasure :)

[closed]

"I saw you hid it with a mask, called 'smile' and kept smiling".
Crafty and powerful. i really like how you presented this!

[Anjali]

thank you!

[Jennifer]

I think this is beautifully written. I enjoyed every bit of it! 💖 So lovely with a brilliant ending...

[Anjali]

thank you so much!

[Pooja Chintamani]

Poetic music and frequency of beauty of words. Too goidydear

[Anjali]

thanks, i guess.

[Ghania]

Aye! This is sooo good. The choice of words and the maintenance of rhythm. Awesome!

[Anjali]

Thank you!

[Ghania]

You're welcome.

[barleygirl]

What an amazing journey! I really had a completely different idea in my mind based on your title, but each stanza took me to a completely unexpected place, which is my favorite thing becuz I hate predictable. Your expressions feel more dramatic becuz you used all capital letters and bold -- usually I would not recommend this heavily emphasized font approach. But here it works becuz of the intensity of your message. I'm not a big fan of repetition, but here you've used it masterfully & I love it! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Anjali]

Thank you so much! I'm glad you liked it.

[Najam Us Saher]

I liked the twist in the end, not actually a twist but it was something that I didn't expect. Beautifully written.

[Anjali]

Thank you!

[Najam Us Saher]

You're welcome.