I Want to Run

I wish I could start running and never ever stop. I would run far from here, to somewhere where no one knows my name. I would sit in cafes and drink coffee and watch people run in and out. I would walk through the rain and not talk to a single person. I would run and run and run until everyone here forgot my name, forgot I ever existed. I would sit in a corner of a library and read poetry. I would erase all my social media and create new accounts. These accounts would be anonymous, and I would use them to post aesthetic photos of plants and cafes and sunsets. I would keep running and running until I couldn't feel my legs. I would sit by a field and simply be silent. I would finally be away from people. I would finally be able to feel the silence. I would keep running until I finally outran my constant desire to run. I would cry. I would cry silently and then I would scream as loud as my lungs would let me. I can't imagine ever not wanting to run and cry. But if I did finally escape that feeling, I think I would be happier than I've been in so long. I would lay in the sun until every chill inside me was finally warmed. I would sit in thunderstorms and cry along with the sky. I would allow myself to finally feel emotions. I would cry and laugh and scream in anger. And then, I think I would smile. I would finally be able to smile.