Unwanted Advice Specialist

A family member decided to give me life guidance in the middle of Thanksgiving supper even though I never asked. They spoke with the confidence of a paid motivational guru, despite the fact that their personal history looks like a blooper reel that never ends.
I sat there listening while my mind ran in circles. They kept firing off phrases like “you should” and “trust me,” which felt bold coming from someone who treats mistakes like a collectible series. They gave instructions about dating, money, and self control, which are three areas they personally treat like abandoned theme parks.
I smiled and nodded because arguing would unlock a three hour speech that nobody has the stamina to survive. The moment lasted longer than a nature documentary about rocks.
When they finished, I thanked them because that is what polite hostages do. Then I left the table and erased every bit of their wisdom from my brain. Their advice helped nobody, including themselves. Families adore giving guidance nobody asked for. It is their unofficial sport and they train year round.

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