In the Dark

Am I copying anyone?

I wonder if you can see me.

I am next to you.

Do you see me in the dark?

I am standing beside you.

It seems as if I am cellophane,

Here in the dark.

You don’t notice me.

Then I try to speak,

I shout in your ear,

I scream your name,

Yet you don’t hear me.

I am in the dark.

Apparently I am mute too.

Then I hit you.

I feel your skin in my finger,

But you don’t feel me.

Am I now invisible in the dark?

If I step out of the dark will I become a human again?

I am sitting in the dark now next to you,

Trying to figure out whether or not stepping out of my comfort in the dark will get me closer to you again.

Reviews

[Shimmerbliss/CAF]

This is quite multilayered in meaning. The lover lost in themselves, the ghost of a lover - whatever you meant to convey, I think it has become larger than the sum of the parts.

[Panda11598]

Wow. This is really good. And the best part is I could picture it. Usually I need a lot of detail to picture a story, let alone a poem. Great job! Keep up the good work :)

[Dominique]

thank you :)

[Lydia]

Great job! The idea of this is astounding.

[The Flame of the Knight]

Thats an odd poem. I dont know if your copying anyone though. But I like it. I think you did a very good job on it. But I dont see how you can be copying anyone. Have you been reading alot of odd poetry lately?

[Dominique]

Nope. I have a Shel Silverstien feeling though. It feels like one of his poems.

[The Flame of the Knight]

I see. But thats still odd. I like it though.

[Dominique]

Thanks. :)